Fun and Games {Destiel}

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Day 14 of suptober
~AU~

It was all fun and games.

That was the first thought that crossed Cas's mind as he laid back in his bed, heavy breaths parting his lips, skin glazed with a layer of sweat. His eyes stayed locked on the ceiling, and not on Dean Winchester, he refused to look at Dean Winchester, who lay next to him, breath as heavy as Cas's.

It was all fun and games.

They weren't anything more than a few hook ups.

But they were and that was the problem.

They were best friends. They loved each other, even if the very first ground rule Dean had placed was no feelings, they weren't to be more than friends with benefits.

Cas squeezed his eyes shut, a slow breath filling his lungs. From his right he could feel the other side of the bed shift, followed by the sound of Dean's feet as he walked across the room, the way he always did when they were done. Then the opening of the door, the way it always did. Then the sound of the shower, the noise that always came.

Dean always showered immediately, as if needing to wash away the past few minutes.

That was okay, cause it was just fun and games, it didn't mean anything.

Cas should probably shower, though he couldn't find the strength, or the want to move. Instead he stayed laying, listening to the muffled sound of running water, and Dean's humming, that at times would become low singing.

He shouldn't have, it was part of the rules, but Cas had fallen for the other, maybe even long before they'd started whatever they were. He couldn't help the way his heart would spike when Dean sent him a goofy grin, or the smile that would tug at his lips as Dean sang along to whatever cassette he'd chosen.

The fire that came at each innocent touch.

The electricity from each stare.

The want from every second they were together.

It was supposed to be fun and games.

They weren't supposed to be anything more, but they were.

They were best friends, and saw each other more than just in the bedroom, they were almost always together. Cas would study in one of the booths while Dean worked a late shift at the bar, Dean would pick Cas up from classes. They were in each other's houses, or sharing tables at cafes, they were almost inseparable.

They weren't just fun and games.

Cas needed to end this.

When the sound of running water stopped Cas sat up, grabbing one of his blankets that had fallen to the ground, and covering himself just as Dean stepped out of the bathroom.

"Cas," Dean said as he walked back into the bedroom. He wore nothing but one of Cas's white towels around his waist, the sweat no longer glistening his skin but instead beads of water; beads of water that left strands of his hair stuck to his forehead, and dripped down his toned chest.

For a moment Cas forgot what he was supposed to say, mouth suddenly dry as his eyes quickly darted down the other's body. "Cas," Dean repeated. He looked back to Dean's face, the other's lips tugged up in a cocky grin.

"Uh yes?"

"Did I tell you 'bout the bar yesterday?" Cas gave a small shake of his head, getting a wide grin from his friend. "There was this chick there, hot as hell, like dude, you might have even gone for her."

As Dean spoke he collected his clothing, replacing Cas's towel for his boxer, followed by his jeans. Cas's own gaze following the other, unable to look anywhere else.

He could feel his heart in his throat, his breaths becoming more forced with each word Dean spoke. Stomach twisting as Dean talked about the girl he'd met at the bar, exchanging numbers, the way her hips had swayed as she walked away.

His nose burned, and he knew tears would soon follow, Cas couldn't cry, no matter how much he wanted to. It wasn't like they were together, they slept together, they fucked.

They weren't togther.

Fun and games, that's all it was to Dean, that's all they were to Dean. And that's all it should have been to Cas.

It was still definitely games, toying with his feelings, playing with his heart.

But now it was anything but fun.

"She seems nice," Cas whispered, when Dean had taken a break from speaking to sit on the edge of Cas's bed and pull on his boots. A shaken breath filled his lungs, his eyes still on the back of Dean's head. He needed to speak, he needed to end it, he couldn't keep pretending him and Dean would ever be something more. That their hookups would be anything more than a way to blow off steam when Dean had a bad day at work, or Cas needed a distraction from the essay he was supposed to be writing.

"Dean," Cas whispered, the other immediately turning his head. It was all or nothing, Cas couldn't keep hiding it. "Could we talk for a moment?"

"Yah." Dean replied, an easy grin still across his lips, "Is it about my boxers?"

Cas's lips parted gaze dropping to the waistband of Dean's jeans where he could just see the lime green colour. Yes, but that would be for another time. "I was wantin-"

Before Cas could continue he was being cut off by Dean's phone, Ramble On blaring through the bedroom. "Shit," Dean mumbled, as he pulled his phone from his jacket pocket. "Sorry Cas, this'll just take a sec."

Cas could only give a small nod of his head. He pressed his lips in a tight line as he watched Dean listen to whoever was on the other side of the call. The grin across Dean's face only growing wider.

The grin that lit up his whole face, that came from the stupidest things, arcade machines, toy lightsabers, movie marathons. The grin that sparkled his eyes, and made his whole face seem to glow. The grin Cas could spend his whole life staring at, that made his heart skip beats, and his mind spiral. The grin that made him only fall further for Dean Winchester.

"That was Lisa," Dean said, shoving his phone back into his pocket. The girl from the bar, Cas assumed, he hadn't been listening enough to get her name. "Shit Cas, she wants to get some drinks!"

Cas could only give another nod as Dean stood. "Are you okay if we talk later? Tomorrow morning?"

"Yes," Cas whispered, the pain spiking through his heart as Dean walked towards bedroom door, "Of course."

Without another word Dean turned, walking out of the bedroom.

It wasn't until he heard his front door close, that Cas fell back in his bed, eyes once again squeezed shut, lips pressed in a tight line, attempting to stop the sobs that threatened to shake his body.

His breathing stayed even, though that didn't stop the first tear from falling. Rolling down his cheek. Followed by a second, and then a third, then a sob.

Fun and games.

That's all he was to Dean.

And that's all he would ever be.

- - -
I've written/read the word fun and games so many times it no longer seems like words

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