welcome to hell.

T h e B e g i n n i n g.

When I was born, my birth mother was sixteen years old, and choose to not keep me. After all, I wasn't her mates child. Clearly her mate did not wish to keep me because I simply was not his. Although as far as the picture I have of her, she was a beautiful blonde, with blue orbs, and creamy tan skin. For my human birth father I was told he was a slight nerd. Like me, I have brunette hair, big brown orbs, and the rest of my face is.. normal? People say I get my looks from my birth father. I simply have a photo of my birth mother, and father. You can say that I just torture myself with the thought that neither of them wanted to actually keep me. Then again who would want to keep me. Hell I probably wouldn't want to keep me either. Okay. Just put it this way, when I look in the mirror I see a man, women, and wolf who did not want me. Every time I would look in the mirror all i would see is self hated.

In my blood I am a wolf, a rouge wolf technically. A rouge wolf is simply a person who does not have a pack to live with. Most of the time it is very rare for a rouge wolf to even exist. Why? That is simply because most rouge wolves are pure evil. However, my wolf has never spoken to me, sometimes I wish she would. You know then I would't be all trapped in my thoughts. If you knew my thoughts, you would be scared. Maybe my wolf will not to me because she is worried I will reject her like everyone else has. The only time I can feel something from her is.. is never to be honest. The only thing that I like to say cares about me is my pet dog, Scout. Scout is my one year old puppy. To be exact he is a golden lab, with cute little brown eyes. I had to beg my parents to get me him when I was turning ten. That was my birthday gift, most of the things I asked for I got. I am grateful for all the things that I get when I ask, and I know I give my parents a hard time till they end up caving in to me and say yes.

Around the time I turned ten, I began to grow more and more self hatred. Mostly because in middle school, the kids were so cruel. The more I heard the words 'Ugly, Stupid, Fat, Worthless' the more I began to believe it. When I would get home everyday I would go up to my room with Scout, and just hold him. Each day I would think of another excuse to not eat my dinners my mother had made for me. I would tell her that the ext day I would take them to lunch. Although what she did not know was that when I got to lunch, I would throw it away. When I did cave in to my hunger pains I would feel guilty about it. I would wish I never ate, I would tell my self that the pain was not bad enough. That I could have waited just a little longer before I gave in to the pains in the pit of my stomach. Why did I have to have such a fragile heart? Never would I ever possibly understand this. I wished I could be heartless like the popular girls who made fun of me. Calling me mean names, all because they themselves had a low self esteem.

I am sure my mother and father were both worried about my behavior. As a matter of fact I know they were because they made me go, and see a shrink. They told me "It will help you open up a little bit Riley... We are only doing this because we love you." and blah blah blah. I had zoned out in my own little world, and choose not to listen to anything more they had to say. When I heard the words "love" I wanted to lash out, no one could possibly love me. I fought myself from saying anything stupid to my parents, and just kept my hands balled into tight little fists. The whole time in the shrinks office I sat there staring at the wall. I did not say a single word, it was like I went completely mute. Me going to see a shrink happened for about two more years, all my middle school years. I was fourteen years old. My father had gotten a job promotion making us have to move all the way out to the middle of no where. Melville. Melville was most certainly something.. Special? My freshman year was spent at home, mostly because the first day of actual school I refused to go. Well, that worked for about a year.. Then sophomore year came. My mother decided she missed working, and told me I would have to actually try, and go to school. You have no clue how much I dreaded the thought of having to go to my own hell.

I swear when you walk into the school building and someone says welcome, it is more like some one is saying "Welcome to Hell." Hell, your own little jail eight hours of it to be exact. Now another thing that I did not know is that nearly everyone in Melville High was werewolves. Much like me, although me I did not smell like one, in fact I smelt like a straight human. Is that because my wolf refuses to come out? Is she so lost in my thoughts that I am stuck being a human? Not that anything is really wrong with being a human, but I did not want to be the only human in an all wolf school, would you want to?

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Author's Note; So I'm sorry that this chapter is slightly boring, I just wanted you guys to see into Riley's past. That way you can some what see, and understand what she has been through. Plus I am sorry about the length of this chapter, it was more of a Prolouge then a chapter. Promise next chapter will be longer!