Not Your Classic Reeses Tale

It started out as a feeling, just a tiny little feeling, but that's all it took for the insecurities to start. Pb had always suffered from anxiety, but it has never been this bad. It has reached the point where he can't go to sleep, yet fears waking up. He can't get dressed in the morning without losing himself in the overactive imagination that constantly curses him with false insecurities and nonexistent stress. But it wasn't always like that.

At first, when Pb started dating Skippy, his anxiety started fading away and his hate for himself was becoming reversed. He was happy, genuinely happy. He smiled. His smiles weren't forced. They were beautiful. His face went from being smooth from the lack of emotion to gorgeously crinkled from smile lines. Until the new kid came.

Her name was Smucker, and she was always making messes everywhere, but that's not what made her ugly. Her personality did that for herself. The moment Pb started talking to her, he knew she was a spoiled piece of bread, and he also knew that Smucker wasn't talking to him to become his friend, she was talking to him because she had her eye on Skippy. She knew Skippy was taken, but that didn't mean anything to Smucker, when she wanted something, she got it. It didn't help that Pb was the only one who could see the dark side of her, whereas every time Pb tried talking to Skippy about his insecurities about Smucker and how he didn't want to lose Skippy because of how much he loved him, Skippy would shrug him off and insist that he was seeing things. That's when the darkness started creeping in.

But it wasn't until he found out that Skippy had started cheating on him that the darkness flooded him.

Pb went on a rampage. But no one could see it, because it was all on his inside. He wasn't sad. Sad wasn't the right word for it. It was the worst feeling ever. He was stuck between extreme pain, yet feeling nothing at all. Smucker had taken Skippy from him, but Skippy took everything from Pb. His entire soul felt like it had been wrenched from his body. The empty dark hole in him felt so entirely large, Pb couldn't. He just couldn't do anything. Where did his will to live go? He had just found it. Maybe it was because he didn't deserve to be happy. Why would he? He wasn't special or cute or funny. He was sad. He was sad and scared of everything. Did Skippy ever really love him? Did Skippy ever actually care? Or was he just so sick of Pb's darkness that he pitied him?

Pb couldn't handle the nothingness pain he was feeling. What was a day? A minute? A month? An hour? What was life? What was its worth? He lost it. The will to live.

4 days later

Pb drew a bath for himself. He couldn't even remember the last time he bathed. He made the water super hot. It would burn when he first got in, but it would be soothing once he adjusted to it. Once he was comfortable he leaned over the side of the tub, picked up a toaster where next to it sat a letter, and he dropped the toaster into the water.

Pb was toast.

"Sometimes I think that if I didn't exist, the world would change. Then I realize that we are all just tiny pieces of time in the lapse of the universe. Then I consider that we bread are small on earth and the earth is tiny compared to the sun and the sun is minuscule compared to our galaxy. And in that, even though we are tiny little pieces of the universe, tinier than we could ever imagine, we still have what feels like the biggest problems. And in that, I am the problem. All I want is for others to be happy and I know that the darkness that they constantly feel surrounding them is brought to them by me. That's why I'm leaving because I want nothing more than for my absence to bring everyone who is trapped in my darkness, peace, and serenity. I just want to give happiness to everyone, because I know that they can never have that just so long as I'm around."