Love, anxiety, and a sprinkle of pain!

1. chapter - Deja vu

("There's beggary in the love that can be reckoned").

As it's stated above if love can be measured then it is a poor love.

The story goes back to 2002 when love and affection came into the picture as an emotion that was slowly developing into infatuation or maybe something more.

I was about to experience something unusual something strange, a feeling of affection, a feeling of excitement was evolving within. I didn't know what to do and yes it was a girl in my class where my mind was drawn away too. Yes yes, I know it's like every other story I know it's boring but hold on not all stories have a great beginning.

I was feeling the breeze in my hair, it was windy there as I'm from hills so it's normal not an exaggeration. With the little support of the breeze, the situation which was going to be next was amazing as I was so nervous about this that I will go ahead and propose to this girl who I had a crush on.

And I can see her approaching me with her friends making me more nervous, trust me, I was shivering like a victim of war, although it's wasn't less than a war for me when you know that there were several guys after her and you fear getting bashed in the boy's locker room, by some of the other competitors. Yes, it was a competition back then I was a kid stop judging me. Ok, so she was a friend to me already and I was a bit ahead of the others. So she said Hi! and I asked her to walk with me alone without her sidekicks yes she was really pretty and she did have some sidekick back then, so she agreed to walk with me and we walked for few minutes and then I just out of panic just proposed her.

This is how the story and this feeling started and it's 18 years and I have witnessed this couple of times now.

So far I know it's been the same old story about a person being rejected and left alone 'yes' 'yes' you got it right I killed it but in the other way, I killed it to an extent that now she will look at me with disgust in her eyes, and you know what I made a fool of my self, the edge was lost now all the other guys are friends with her and I'm the rotten tomato which makes all the guys look poor in front of her if they chose to hang out with me.

So this went for a while, but now I was much stronger as I adapted to deal with it. The plus point was that there was no competition when it comes to dancing during that point in time. The present situation is really bad so please don't go there as I'm a terrible dancer now all I do is twerk!!

"So let's get back to track stop imaging me in your head twerking"

Before I talk more I will recommend you visit Dun once in your life. Because if it was not for Dehradun I couldn't have probably able to express and live it.

This culture here in Dun will grow you in every way possible. Always remember that the journey is more beautiful than the goal.

So we skip to autumn now, when the sports and cultural things will start at my beloved school, they still do. #Moment of silence thanks, co-vid.

So I was feeling like a prince walking down the hall knowing that there will be a point she needs to stand next to me as no choice, bye the way she was the one who asked for me to be there with her. Little surprised, as I know how big ego she carried with her, as you know when we approach pre-adolescence, we tend to act like fools, seriously fools. I can still remember that face and attitude she had.

The moment comes and now we are face to face as she asked for the best dancer to be with her and her disgust is right in front of her. I the poor gentleman trying to be professional back in my head convincing myself that not to make a fool out of myself again as now I'm dancing with her holding hands. "Of course we did hold hands how do you think dance is done when you have a partner". #Not exaggerated.