To Skaikru, she was known as Kota. To anyone else, she was known as Dakoda kom Trikru, Lincoln's younger sister. Having Lincoln as an older brother meant that she always felt overprotected growing up. But what people underestimated about her as she...
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chapter 5 - atelophobia
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On that warm and blissful morning, Octavia smiled contently as she felt the warm sun shine down on her while Dakota finished braiding her hair. Moments like this, where it was just the two of them enjoying their peaceful time together, was definitely hard to come by. Which is why both girls cherished every second of intimacy that they possibly could within the single night they had together.
It was a miracle that Octavia was even able to spend more time with her after last night's eventful meeting. They knew all too well that this moment of peace and serenity was just the calm before the storm—hell, maybe even the eye of the storm itself. That's why both girls always appreciated these special moments, no matter how short they were.
"I wish that I didn't have to leave. I literally just got you back." Octavia murmured with her eyes closed, slightly distracted from the sensation of the girl's fingers running through her hair.
Once Dakota was finished, she wrapped her arms around Octavia's waist, and rested her head on her shoulder. "I know, my love." She kissed her cheek. "I'm going to miss you so much but I know its what needs to be done. The people back at Arkadia need you right now, and Lexa needs me to stay here until we deal with the Ice Queen."
The brunette turned around from her sitting position on the bed, and wrapped her hands behind Kota's neck, where she gently played with her baby hairs. "Be safe, okay? Now that everyone knows who you really are, that means you've officially been added to all of your enemies hit lists."
"Don't worry. I'm safe here in the tower. Lexa has assigned guards to watch over my room, and she's also continued to reassure me that she won't let anything happen to me."
"It's good that you're protected and all, but I can see how that must suck. Having people on your back 24/7."
"I certainly feel confined most days, but it's alright. I've been through much worse. I can only imagine what everyone is saying about me, though. They've been referring to me as, "Kripa", which means demon, ever since my time as a Reaper. Now they're all probably calling me "Splita", because once an outcast, always an outcast."
Octavia frowned at her remark. She always hated it when Kota talked badly about herself, but she could clearly see that this was affecting her more than she let on. Of course, Dakota was a strong girl, a plangona, if you will. But even so, the poor grounder still had her flaws and moments of weakness. For example, in her mind, it seemed like everyone viewed her as incompetent, and she hated having those thoughts because they were completely untrue. Insecurity and self-doubt were always going to be one of her downfalls as well. Whether it be judging herself, or just fearing the judgment of others.
When it really came down to it, Kota's main problem was that she craved acceptance, and after years of never feeling good enough, the fact that everybody now knew that she was Lexa's long lost sister definitely made her feel uneasy. How would they react? Would they treat her better? Or worse? Atelophobia was her worst fear, and sadly, it had been controlling her ever since she was little.
