Deppression - It Calls Me

Chapter 1: The first day

I woke up from the place I felt safest. Wrapped up tight inside my blankets, these days I feel like the blankets are the only things that can be bothered to keep me safe. I rubbed the sleepy from my red-stained eyes and got out of bed.

I needed to get ready, after all, it's my first day back at school and I needed to meet with you, on the school yard. I put my uniform on and rushed downstairs, snatching up my bag from the floor in the process. I didn't feel like eating breakfast today. I hadn't eaten yesterday either, you asked me why I just said I wasn't hungry. I was lying. I was starving, but I wanted to starve myself.

I made toast and texted you. You gave short talk back but it's fine, I'm used to you small talking me. I trust you to not push me away so everytime, I give you a chance. I don't quite understand why. Perhaps I don't want to loose you in this hell-hole we all call high-school. Or perhaps I just need someone to talk too. About my problems.

Shaking the thoughts away, I picked up my now ready toast and went into the living room. My keys, phone and deppression were all with me, ready to go. The deppression had a voice though, it was the only one that interacted with me. Telling me to do things, bad things. And telling me things about myself, bad things. It was like a burdon on my shoulders. I couldn't get rid of it. I opened my phone to see a text from you. You asked if i was ok, a smile presented on my lips. You were the only person that cared and looked out for me. You were the only person I could share my feelings with, my problems. I told you, I'm fine. I wasn't. The thoughts of the past, and the things that the voices told me. Made it clear, I wasn't indeed fine. Yet here I am, slouching on the couch, lying to my only understanding friend. Tell me the truth, you've been acting wierd, you texted me. Of course you could see right through me. The truth is, I still am not fine but I obviously replied with I'm positive that I'm ok. I need to stop lying to both you and myself.

I checked the time 7:57.

I leave for school in three minutes, I get to see you in three minutes. I smile at the thought and went to say goodbye to my mother. After saying goodbye, I checked the time again.

8:01.

I shouldn't be late just one minute over, I'll be fine. I unlocked the door and stepped into the unwelcoming, cold air.
I write poems you know? I wrote one for you. You never knew, I was to emmbarrased. I've shown you one poem, and all you said was damn I have a feeling that if i showed you this one, you'd laugh at me. You'd tease me. You'd bully me.

I started walking down the path to the school. I didn't want to be outside, I hate it. The air was bouncing of off my face as if i was a trampoline. I arrived at the school and walked in. I saw you. Standing with our group we hang out with. You saw me too and, instantly shot me a friendly smile.

Why do you care about me?