Here I Am I Guess

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College is interesting to say the least, at least there are some great mentors to help me along the way. My home situation is also quite interesting. Divorced parents. A brother who is living his own life and doing his own thing. Parents that work a lot. And lots of alone time. It gets to be sad and depressing at times but we make the best of it. I love being at college thanks to a few of my great friends and phenomenal directors and music faculty. I'm a music education major so I guess that explains a lot. 

I've just finished putting my clarinet away at the end of our full ensemble rehearsal when my director, Dr. Myers, comes up to me. "Hey, what are you up to tonight? I know it's last minute but my husband and I were going to go on a date night and were wondering if you could watch the girls for us?" she asks hopeful.

"I don't have any plans. That would be fun! What time should I be there?" I ask.

"Would 6 work? We are going for a late dinner and movie. The movie starts at 10 so I'm not sure when we will be back. Hopefully that's okay. If you would like to you can just stay the night in our guest room. That way you don't have to drive home in the dark while tired."

"That time works for me! Are you sure about me staying over though? I don't want to be an inconvenience..." I say hesitant.

"Of course! You've done so much to help Mr. Myers and myself with the music program that it would be no bother to let you stay over." She says cheerily.

"Okay, sounds good! I'll see you later tonight." I respond then walk to the lockers. I put my instrument away in its locker and grab my jacket. I sling it over my shoulder and walk out towards my dorm hall. "Ughh" I sigh...

When I walk out of the doors I see that it's snowing. It was predicted that we would get a blizzard this weekend but I didn't think it was supposed to start yet, it's currently Friday evening. I bundle up in my jacket and trudge through the heavy snow. I check my phone for the time, 4:30 pm. 

I continue trudging through the snow until I get to my dorm hall. I breathe a sigh of relief as I realize I get to go into the warm air and put on comfy clothing after a full day of classes. I'm honestly quite excited to be going over to the Myers' house to babysit their girls. Loraine and Izzy are the absolute sweetest and most well behaved girls I think I've ever met, this will be a breeze. I walk into my dorm room and strip of my layers. I pull on a comfy pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. I throw my hair up into a messy bun and put on a thick pair of socks, my feet are always freezing. I pack a bag for overnight since the snow just keeps coming down. I figure it may be safest for me to stay the night instead of driving on the icy roads in the dark. Thankfully I am pretty close to Mr. and Mrs. Myers. They've both helped me through a lot of tough situations and have always been two constants in my life since I met them multiple years ago. Today has been rough for me since my mom and I are fighting again, it's like Mrs. Myers could sense there was something going on and knew I needed a distraction.

Later on...

I sigh as I bundle up in my layers and grab my overnight bag. I make sure I have an extra set of clothing and all my night and morning routine items. I tie up my boots and grab my phone. Trudging outside once again I walk (or slide) down the hillside to my vehicle parked in the student lot. I unlock the red Jeep and throw my stuff inside. I start it up and blast the heat, hoping to start melting my windshield. I grab my snow brush and brush the snow off of my vehicle. Once finished I hop inside my car, fingers freezing. I take a few minutes to warm up and then I am on my way. 

I drive on over to my directors' house and park at the end of their driveway. I get out of my car, grab my bag, and make sure to lock my car as I walk up to their front door. Before I can even ring the doorbell, Loraine and Izzy are there to greet me, "Hello!", they both exclaim excitedly. 

"Hi guys! How's it going?" I ask as I stomp the snow off of my boots. I start to take my jacket off and set my bag down.

"Gooood..." they draw out in their shy nature.

"Hey Erin, how's it going?" Mrs. Myers (Catherine) asks me.

"I'm doing good, how are you?" I responded.

"I'm good too! Here, let me show you to the guest room. I hope that's okay that we offered for you to stay the night, we really don't want to make you drive home in the snow. We thought about cancelling our plans but decided to get dinner and then debate whether or not we will still go to the movie. The girls are so excited to see you that we figured we might as well still leave for part of the night." She explains as she leads me down the hallway on the main level. 

Their house is small but it's so homey. I've been here quite a few times before between band holiday parties and babysitting. 

Catherine shows me to the guest room, " Well here you have it. Nothing special but feel free to make yourself at home. The sheets are clean and there are plenty of towels in the bathroom if you need to shower. If you need anything ask Loraine, she should be able to help you and if not, shoot me a text and I'll get back to it as soon as possible."

"Well thank you. I appreciate how willing you and Brian (Mr. Myers) are in sharing your home with me for the night." I say appreciative at their generosity.

I follow Catherine to the living room and see the girls starting a card game. "Can I join?" I ask.

The girls deal me in as Brian and Catherine are about to leave. "Call or text us if you need anything. Goodnight girls, have fun!" Brian says as he closes the door behind him and his wife. 

Loraine, Izzy and myself play a few rounds of cards and then I make a pizza for us all to enjoy. Once the pizza is finished we turn on a movie and cozy up on the couch with blankets. The girls nestle in right next to me and we watch The Grinch. Looking out the window you can see the snow blowing around. I'm so glad that I decided to stay and am thankful that Catherine offered from the start. 

A couple hours later the movie has finished and I have two girls sleeping in my arms. I gently wake them and put them to bed. "Do we have to go to bed?" Izzy whines.

"Yes, I'm sorry but it's past your bed time. Plus, you were both sleeping before the movie even ended." I say walking with them to their room. Once we get into their room I make sure to tuck them both in and say goodnight. I walk back out, gently closing the door behind me. 

Going back to the couch I wrap a blanket around myself and pick up my phone. I see a text from my mom and wonder what she wants. It reads...

Mom: So what do you just not like me anymore?

Confused I respond with...

Me: What? I'm confused...

Mom: You can't even answer my calls or texts and when you do you're all pissy or it's a half ass response. Screw that. You don't want to be my daughter that's your problem. I have Mark *(her boyfriend)* and his family. At least they all treat me right. I would have never done to my mom what you've done to me.

Baffled I start to cry. Silent tears form in my eyes. I just can't understand why she blames me for everything that has gone wrong in our relationship. I'm just a child. 

I hear the door open and try to make myself look presentable...but it doesn't pass for even a second.

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