STEP BY STEP HOW TO SHIT

I GET A LOT OF LETTERS FROM PEOPLE SAYING "I LIKE YOUR SHIT STORIES, ESPECIALLY YOUR MOST RECENT ONE, TOILET TROUBLE, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHIT, PLEASE HELP" WELL HERE I AM, AND I'M READY TO HELP YOU WITH ALL YOUR SHIT TROUBLES STRAP IN AS WE GO ON AN ADVENTURE, AND A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO SHIT