Never mind the Queen's Speech at Christmas: the Hitcher decides to give his own festive message to the nation. Notes: Tangentially, if I wrote little Lillibet's speech at Xmas, it would be a far different and superior thing. Beginning, 'Check out the bling, serfs! You paid for this, yaaah!' and ending, 'You want some? You think you can take me? Outside the palace grounds, peons!' Cuz that's what the over-privileged chavs are thinking, really. OK, bolshy rant over, I'll get back to my Penguin edition of Das Kapital. All rights reserved.