You hadn't realized it yet. Not after your 8th grade crush rejected you, or when you chose the college major your parents picked out for you, or when you forced yourself to enjoy beer for a boy you briefly dated. Not even when you accepted a job you knew you would hate, or when you went along with your friends' plans only because you didn't want to be left out. And especially not all the times you wanted to speak up for yourself but stayed silent instead. There were moments where you were almost there. Such as when Typical Hipster dumped you even though he was the boy you forced yourself to drink beer for and integrated yourself into his life in ways you knew would muffle the real version of yourself. Or when you lost the job you hated and felt joy at unemployment, instead of despair. The closest you ever got was when Secret Republican broke up with you. However, you still never got there. You never realized that 25 years of molding and silencing yourself was chipping away at the real version of yourself that lurked beneath the surface, waiting to be released. Not yet, anyway. Right now, you were Footpath.