I was with Bakugou, finishing my homework, listening to music with him as he rested his head against my side. My chest starts tightening. Our legs were touching and he smelled like bamboo and cacao from his lotion and body soap. I feel my throat tightening. I could feel his breathing and my heartbeat, I remember wondering if he could hear it too, but only to shoot it down knowing he doesn't. I start coughing and tears come to my eyes. All those thoughts come back to me, all those fears. I don't even know if he likes guys. Even if he did, could he like someone like me? No. The coughing is getting worse and it shakes my entire body. But the thing is, I don't mind. I'll stand by his side, I'll watch him rise to the top, even though he won't need me and I know it. But all I need from him is to see those eyes to know what I'm fighting for. I feel the petals coming up and blocking my airway, I need to get them out before they suffocate me. I love him, I need him. But he doesn't and shouldn't. The pain from these thoughts competes with the pain in my chest until I can't tell either apart and it feels like I'm being ripped into pieces. I finally throw up the petals, again, red and blond, but the tears won't stop.