Life was bleak, and ever so changing while being so slow. You were living proof of that fact, and you live with that knowledge in nothing but misery and pain. Maybe things could go back to normal, maybe if you didn't go back to your childhood home, and maybe if you didn't play into your sick, twisted delusions, you could pretend that your life was normal. You could have gone back to your simple, unthinking ways of keeping yourself together, instead of play into the depraved clutches of the woods not so far from your haunted home.