Morning shower

Chapter 1: Morning shower part 1

.

"Granger, can't you bloody well hurry up?"

"No, and you can wait a few minutes!"

"You've been in there for hours!"

"Malfoy, get a bloody watch, because I have not been in here for hours!"

"Days then!"

"Oh, in the name of Godric Gryffindor," she muttered under her breath. "No, I have not been in here for days! Grow some balls, get some patience, and wait your turn!"

Rarely would she have made any reference the blond git's balls, but in this time of duress, she felt the need to be a touch extreme in her language. Already, she felt like falling to her knees and pray for forgiveness from the unseen, omnipotent and omniscient force that reigned over them.

Her childish side liked to call Him Bob.

Her feminist side called Her Bobette.

Her mature, older, and intellectual side followed Spinoza and called Him God. (A/N Spinoza is a philosopher.)

The Muggle nerd in her wanted to call 'It' The Force. It also wished that she had Jedi powers from time to time but ...

'Seriously, Hermione, get a grip.'

But, no matter what, there was a part of her that still believed in that particular force.

In the end, however, she always wondered why such an amazing, benevolent thing would ever allow a slimy git like Malfoy to roam the planes of Earth.

'Could you just, for once, hit him with a lightning bolt and cause his 'untimely' death? Today would be perfect, he has Quidditch, he'll be in the air, so it'll mean less work for you...'

Of course, she had prayed like this on several occasions and never had her prayers been answered.

'Maybe it's because I'm asking Him to kill someone?'

Damn God and his benevolence towards even the slimiest of creatures and nastiest of ferrets.

"Granger! Hurry the fuck up!"

She rolled her eyes, sticking her head out of the shower stall in order to shout back. "Malfoy, you slimy ferret, you can wait until I'm done! Stop getting your bloody knickers in a twist."

"I do not wear knickers!" She could almost see him crossed his arms and pout with indignation. "And I am not a slimy ferret, you damn Mudblood! Hurry the fuck up or I'm going to force my way in there!"

She nearly laughed and was about to challenge him to do so when she stopped. He had already proven that he could easily unlock her locking spells, which had caused her much duress at one point in time.

She had been wrapped in only a small towel, putting some lotion on her legs, when he had come knocking and shouting, saying something about needing to take the biggest piss of his life.

At that point in time, which had been early on in their cohabitation, she had figured that he had lied to her.

He hadn't.