Love or Hate

Chapter 13: Jayden's Story

This may or may not make you emotional if you're emotionally invested in the characters so......
                        
Jayden's POV

So it's Friday and Alex and I have been dating for a few days and we haven't told the crew yet just because we wanted to wait till today because we're weird like that. Right now we're at lunch and Alex and I are holding hands underneath the table.

"Do we tell them now or later?" I whispered to Alex. "Now if you want" he said back. I nodded. We put our hands on the table and I got everyone's attention. "So we wanted to tell you guys that we're officially boyfriends" Alex said happily. "So Jalex is official?" Mehgan asked with a smile. "Yep" I said. "YES!" Nick squealed.

"I would like to take credit for making Jalex a thing" Nick said. "How?" I asked. "Well you guys wouldn't have sat down and squashed the beef to begin with" he said. "He's right without the sit down we might've still be beefing right now" Alex said. "Well I'm glad that we're not because then I wouldn't know how special you are" I said before I kissed him briefly.

They all lost their shit and started fangirling. "Aww you guys are so cute together" Erika said. "Yeah I have to admit y'all do look good together" Justin said. "Thanks" we said together. "Y'all are already in sync" Nick said. We all laughed.

Me and Alex are at my house and of course my mom is at work so it's just us. "Can I have my hoodie please?" he asked. "You mean my old hoodie that you stole and won't give back" I corrected laughing a little. (Cough _lovee_lunaa ) "Yes I want it and no I don't care that it's big on me because oversized hoodies are the best ones, plus it smells like you so that makes it better" he said taking it from me.

Right now we're cuddling and I'm so glad that this boy is mine. I wish we never had beef and I was being my typical dumb self. I can feel Alex staring at me so I look at him. "Why are you just staring at me?" I asked. "Because I want to stare at my hot boyfriend" he said sassily. "You're lucky you're cute or I would've slapped you" I said joking. "Nothing you haven't done before" he said laughing.

"Jayden" he said in a serious tone. "Yes Alex" I responded. "I want to know more about you" he said. I started to get nervous. "What do you want to know about me?" I asked. "Everything, I want you to tell me everything you're comfortable with that made you the person you are today" he said. I closed my eyes and took a big deep breath and looked at him. "Ok, this is going to be a lot and you may not like me anymore but I'm going to tell you" I said.

"Growing up my parents were married and I had a decent life. But that changed when I was five, my dad lost his job and started drinking. He would get so mad at me over the littlest things and he would start arguments with my mom in front of me. Then when I was in the first grade I was kinda small and short so I got bullied a lot but then I met the rest of the crew so that stopped. One of the most traumatic moments of my life was when I was when I was waiting on my dad to pick me up from school and the crew had all went home, and these three niggas who were all big and tall had jumped me. I was in so much pain and one of them broke my nose. My dad finally got there after they left and he just yelled and cursed at me for not standing up for myself and being a little punk bitch. I got diagnosed with PTSD from that. Since then my fight or flight response are 10x worse than the average person" I said.

At this point I started to get a little emotional and so was Alex. "Over the last four years I've been struggling with the PTSD as well as anxiety and depression. I always bottle up my emotions and feel the need to act the way I do at school so people won't try to pick on me anymore. I never show my emotions in front of anyone except the rest of the crew and now you, I feel like I'm a weak as person for sitting here crying and acting like this when there are people who have been through way more traumatic situations" I said now sobbing.

"Hey, stop that. Don't compare your trauma to other people's trauma, that's not fair to you and you shouldn't belittle your feelings and how you cope with certain things. You can't help that your dad is an asshole and that you got jumped by three tall niggas when you were short, small and couldn't properly defend yourself" Alex said now sobbing as well. We were sitting up at this point. "I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want you to understand that no matter what happened between us in the past and no matter what you've been through, that you are the funniest, smartest, attractive, and most loyal person I've ever known. I know that we just got together the other day but we've been through a lot over the last couple of years and you don't have to say it back but I want you to know that I love you Jayden" he said.

I hugged him because I needed him to hold me and I needed him to know that even though I'm not ready to say it back, I care about him so fucking much. "Thank you for being here and not leaving me like I thought you would" I said wiping his tears and my own. "It's going to take a lot more than that to get rid of me" he said with a low chuckle. I leaned in and kissed him. Not to passionate but soft and filled with nothing but tender and care.

We continued to cuddle and watch old episodes of Lab Rats on Disney+ until it was time for Alex to go home. Since he lived across the street and I have the key to my house I decided to walk him home. We get to his front door and he looks at me.

"Remember what I said about and understand that I'm going to help you and guide you to work on yourself" he said. I nodded before pulling him in a hug . We stood there in silence and just embrace while he rubbed my back slowly and softly bringing me comfort and relaxation. We eventually pulled apart and he gave me a goodnight kiss before he went inside.

I went to sleep with my brain going 100 miles per hour. One thing I knew for sure was that I was going to work on my mental health and work on breaking down my walls and not being so defensive 24/7. I also went to sleep with great comfort knowing that Alex loves me.