Malcontent / Draco Malfoy

Chapter Twenty Six - Stupid

I didn't speak for days.

I didn't have the energy to.

Blaise was like a ghost. Wouldn't look at me, wouldn't speak to me. He was practically gone.

But Draco wasn't.

No matter where I looked, it was as if he were watching. Waiting. He tried to be discreet about it, of course, but every once in a while I'd catch him staring hopelessly at me, waiting for me to change my mind and tell him everything was okay.

I wouldn't.

It was so much worse than wanting something and not being able to have it, because I could have Draco, if I so chose. I did have him. But I chose to let him go, to prove a point.

If that didn't say anything about my stubbornness, I didn't know what would.

Luna tried to contact me endlessly, but I would just smile apologetically before turning away and letting my face return to its empty state. I wasn't empty- I was teeming with rage, and hurt- but I didn't want anybody to know that. And no one seemed to notice.

Except George.

We'd cross paths every once in a while, in between classes. I wouldn't be caught dead in the Great Hall- if I had the option to avoid Draco, I would do it in a heartbeat.

It hurt too much to be near him.

But every time I saw George, Katie Bell would be looming somewhere nearby. It was just another reminder that even if I did seek solace from the one other person who understood me fully, it would be corrupted.

That was, until he came banging on my door at midnight.

He burst through after four knocks, and I struggled to draw my attention from the window. I could barely focus my eyes- I'd been staring at it for at least an hour.

He seemed flustered. As if he'd had this great plan to swoop in and save the day, but didn't quite know how to execute it. But that was George. Impulsive, and a non-planner.

"You're.. doing nothing," he stated, but it sounded like more of a question. I blinked, and he scratched the back of his neck. "I figured you'd be reading, or doing something.. smart." Maybe he didn't know me all that well.

"I'm not one for reading these days," I said, my voice scratchy. I hadn't spoken other than answering questions in class since..

I hadn't spoken.

He scoffed, seating himself at the foot of my bed.

"Where's the real Lilith, and what have you done with her?" He interrogated playfully. I tried to smile, but it came as more of a grimace. His mouth curved downward.

"What's going on with you? No one's heard from you in days." I ran my hand against the cool quilt. The weather had begun to warm up slightly, but it was still freezing.

"Nothing," I murmured, staring at my fingers.

"Is it to do with Draco?" He asked, and I flinched at the cruel reminder. He sighed, shifting in his spot. "You know, you can always talk to me about-"

"Oh, please," I retorted, rolling my eyes. "I know the last thing you want to do is talk boy problems with me, of all people."

"Come on, Lily." I felt a pang in my chest at hearing the name Dra- he, so often called me. "We both know we're above that. We're friends- we used to be best friends. I'm over it, truly," he said sincerely, looking into my eyes. It was still odd to be around him and not be- well, together. I didn't have the urge to, of course. I was consumed with thoughts of.. him.