I always dreamed about falling in love even at a very young age, I remembered playing with my best friend James Charles Salazar and pretending that I was his princess and he was my prince or Knight in shining armor. Those days were my favorite I remembered like it was yesterday that we promised each other that when we grow up he'll marry me.
Lumaki kami ng sabay we even went to the same school, I remember when we were in high school people always tease us for being so close. but we were never bothered about the accusation. honestly, I kinda like it when people tease us as girlfriend and boyfriend.
Hindi ko mapigilang mahulog ang loob ko sa kanya, I was so young and he's the only boy I was closed to, but I was afraid that he did not feel the same towards me.
I remembered always getting jealous when other girls are around him, I can't help it I even ask my Mama kung bakit ganun ang nararamdaman ko she just smiled at me and said na dalaga na daw ako
He's always the popular one, he grew up very handsome not like me I was quite plain very average unlike him, I wish we were just kids forever.
At our prom, my feelings for him got even deeper hindi na lang simpleng crush ang nararamdaman ko, I know that I was so young back then other people might think na it's just an infatuation but for me, I do love him.
But I kept it to myself, I buried deep into my heart dahil ayokong masira ang pag kakaibigan naming dalawa, but that was a mistake because the more you prevent your feelings the more it will be deep.
During our college days we lost communication, madalang na lang ang aming pag uusap dahil busy sa kanya-kanyang pag aaral he took up Accountancy while I took Business Management
But during our final exams nung first year namin, He gave me a letter and invited me for lunch, of course, I said yes it was so long since nakapag bond kami. he did not stay long 'cause he still needs to study for his exams, and I still need to finish all my requirements.
I was heading out of our classroom when I slip at the hallway, I did not notice that the floor was extremely wet, ang masaklap pa ay pati yung pinag hirapan kong requirements ay nabasa, I had no choice but to re-do it, dahil mamayang hapon na ang last submission.
Tatawagan kona sana sya kaso cannot be reached ang phone nya, so I just texted him and reasoned that I need to finish my requirements, still I haven't had a response.
And I almost forgot about the letter, I was looking for it everywhere but couldn't find it, how unlucky of me that day.
After that day James never spoke to me for weeks and months hindi nya ako pinapansin.
I tried so hard to approach him but obviously hindi nya ako gustong makausap and he didn't even bother hiding the fact that he's avoiding me.
After a while I noticed that he's is hanging out with a certain girl named Bella, she was tall almost reaching James's height, and they look good together, I hate to admit it but na sasaktan ako, I was hurt and jealous of Bella.
Still, I couldn't do anything, he's still avoids me and wala naman akong karapatan to get jealous, even so, is it enough na masaktan ako ng ganto just because hindi ako nakapunta? But still, I can't do anything dahil ni hindi nya alam ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.
Di ko na lang masyado pinansin ang nararamdaman kong sakit at pinag tuunan ko na lang ng pansin ang aking pag-aaral.
Another month has passed still he chooses to avoid me, I heard na sila na ni Bella, I wasn't surprised they look good together but I can't help but break inside. I cried every night my mama always ask about what's happening to me, and I never answered her.
Years have passed
I graduated cum laude, I was happy. My parents were so proud of me they wanted to throw a party to celebrate my success and they told me that I should invite James since they still thought that we're still friends.
I was looking for him and saw him with his girlfriend. Bella was crying while he was hugging her. Seeing them together breaks me, I run away from that scene, I was so tired of getting hurt and crying, I just want to get rid of my feeling for him.
I went back to my parents after I fixed myself and told them that James couldn't come.
Weeks have passed and I was applying for a job when I come across a college schoolmate, he was one of James' buddies we talk a little at sakanya ko nalaman na buntis si Bella and they were planning on getting married.
That afternoon I got a visit from him but I was out applying for a job, my mama told me that he wanted to talk to me and gave an invitation. Their wedding invitation, I opened it.
Salazar & Wee Nuptial
May 20
My parents are one of the sponsors and I was included at the ceremony as one of the bridesmaids, I feel so tortured. Hanggang kaylan ba ako masasaktan?
The day has come, the wedding of my best friend and love. I march toward the altar and saw him, he was so handsome with his white tux. He was looking at me and I felt like he looks at me lovingly and something more, he looks hurt but why?
The ceremony was starting they were doing their vows when a man sat beside me, he was a professor at our university, He gave me a letter. A letter that I've lost 3 years ago. He tried to find me pero parang nananadya ang tadhana dahil hindi nya ako mahanap.
I opened the letter and it says.
Dear Alexis,
This is corny as it looks but I can't think of any way to admit my true feelings for you, I know it sounds crazy but I always loved you ever since we were little, I remember I promised to you that I'll Marry you when we grow up. But I can't have the courage to say to you how I truly feel. Torpe? Maybe but I truly love you. I'm just scared to ruin our friendship but I am willing to take the risk just to be with you.
I love you Alexis Go, and that is true I hope you love me to.Meet me at our usual hang out pag pumunta ka mamaya dun it means mahal mo din ako pero kung hindi ka pumunta I will never mention this topic again. I hope you will come.
Love James
Then the priest announced
"I pronounced you husband and wife" ang sakit parang pinipiga ang puso ko, I feel like there's something stuck in my throat, I can't breath. Kung di sana ako careless iba sana ang sitwasyon ngayon ako sana ang bride hindi bridesmaid.
At the photoshoot it's the bridesmaid's and groomsman's turn to take pictures of the couple, everyone greets them congratulation, and give the couple a hand and a hug then it was my turn. He hugs me so tight and whispered to me with teary eyes.
"I still and always will Love you, Alexis"
End
~Author's note: I wrote this story a very long time ago, nasa kabilang account ko nga lang, ni-revise ko ng kaunti para naman medyo decente,I also change their names.
