TW: MENTIONING SUICIDE
Kenny and I are walking, we are talking about music, we like more or less the same artists, so we know what to talk about.
" what is your favorite Mother Mother song? "
he giggles and takes a longer step as he looks at me
" let me think... "Try to change"... it's a really cool song, but I really like, "Arms tonite", so i don't know what to choose "
this is one of the reasons why kenny and I are best friends, we understand each other perfectly, especially with music.
" yeah those are really cool, but I would add, "Legs Away"... "
he nods smiling, it's a sign of approval
" How about we come home late today? "
I look at him with a knowing look, it was not a statement that I could be surprised by, it wasn't the first time we did something like this, and it wouldn't be the last.
" yeah, but where do we go? "
He puts one arm around my shoulder, stretches the other arm out in front of him as if he wants to show me something.
"the real question is... "what do we do?" and I also have the answer!"
I don't know why but I have a bad feeling, I mean... not actually bad... it's actually more of a weird feeling, you never know what's going on in Kenny's head.
" Let's go see what Stan and Kyle are doing, I know you want to do it"
in fact he is not wrong, inside of me I am dying to know what they are doing, I feel like I need certainties, many certainties.
Do I look weird if I feel like I need to know?
y̶̨̯̐́͆̄̾͂̊̈̿o̷̟̪̘͎̩̟̫͈͕̅̄̆́́̀͠u̴̫͗͊͆̈́̄̃́͝'̷̡͙̼̯̞̼̱̿͆͒̋̂̓r̵̨̠͔̖̙̹͚̦͐̌̋͛ͅë̴͚̦́ ̶͎̣̊͆͑̄͌̓̊̐͒́ņ̵̼̙̝̫̯̻̳̟̭̑́̍̈̉͋o̶̧͎̙̍͋̾̆̂͘͝͝͝t̶̛̜̫̦̖̥̋̈́̎͑̆̍̉͛̈ ̸̢̪̗̹͓͙̤͈̮̋̾̔̔w̸̛̮̹̹̝̭̔̑͗̑͂̋̀ͅe̷̠̊í̶̻̯͒͋͐̇̈̂͆͜͝͠ṙ̵̛͙̻̦̎͆͐̕ď̴̪̮̞̖͍̒͛͗́̿̂̾̒͜͝,̷̛̲͎̼̩̹͊̽́̽̄͑͂̇ ̵͎̃̒͆̈́͂̊̔̋̚y̸̨͚̘̤̍̀̈́́õ̵̢̲͙̗̖̯̞̠̲͜ư̶̝̭̬̺̘̳̄̏̃͗̔'̵̧̞͎̳̆͜ŗ̵̞͓̗̰̜̈̎ȇ̸̠̭̰̥̔̍̊͋ ̶̞͎̌̽̏́̆͆̂ḩ̵̣͖͕͍̙͚͂̓̉̀͂̒̈́́͘͝ḭ̶̡̠̍̀̇͗͆́̿̕͝d̵̢̡̼̞̩̯͔̬̉̿̂͛̾̅i̶̡̒̏͠ņ̵̟̗̲̩͙̦̫̀̔g̵͎̱̠̺̞̲̖̘̳͂͌͋̀ͅ ̵̙̘̲͌͂̇t̸̯̣̥̹̰͛ḩ̵̨̙̫͎̺͉̗̙̭̈́͌̈́́̚e̸͔̓̋͑ ̵̛̙̠̺͇͉̤̰̰̐̈̅̊̕ȇ̵̳͙̥̀̍̅̑̇̈v̴̦̜̈́͌̇́̊́͒̑̍ͅī̷̧̠̝̼̳͋͝d̴̟̲̯̈͛̉̍ę̸͙̟̣̫͛̈n̶̤̘̳̪͔̭̺̪̅͆́ͅċ̶̰̮̟̂̓̈́̊̈̄͑e̶̙̊̈́
stop that.
I don't need your stupid guesses.
y̵̡̘͎̻̱͍̔ó̷̧͎̹͇̦̞̙̮̯͌u̷͙̥̜͚͖̫̻͍̣̍̚͝ ̴̗̦̙̥̎̒̊̋͝ņ̵̟̦̘͕̭͔͎̥̌̀̆̆̋ͅe̵̹̖̝̦͕̤̙̦̭͝ȅ̷̛̬͗̀͗̆̾̒͘ͅd̵͔̖̦̗͉̺̲̈́̈̕ ̶̩͉̝̠̩̣̬̹̳́m̸̻̯̩͍̪̿̒͒͋͌̂͝ė̴͍́̌
no, I don't need you and your nonsense, now shut up.
y̸̖̥͂̉̎̄̽̄ó̶̞͓̲̞͎͓̤̩͋̒͗̀͘ư̵͕ ̷̭̰̲̆̐̽̏̇̅͑͊̄k̴̬̜͇͎̠͉̿̾̈́͂͂̂̾̓̚͘͜n̸̺̯̟̐͑́͐o̴͓͍̓̍̉̇͆̐̌͝ẅ̷̤̠̬̳́̀̀ ̴̡̲̪̩̜̅Į̵̛̥͉̼̪̫͆̀̍̀͘͜͝'̴̨̱͉̭̟̮̱͎̎̀̀͜m̴͔͇̺͊ͅ ̸̘͍̂̽́p̵͎͚̩̒̋a̸͇̩͂͊͒̚͠͝r̵̫̪̥͔͚̞̖̅ͅt̶̙̻̖̓̓̌̅̾̄̏̓̚ͅ ̴̢̲̻̫̺̜̤͎̇̌̽̈́̎̽͝ö̷̦͖̹̟̰͓́f̷̨̱̙̲̣̬̹̥̽́̋̍̇́̍͆́͘ ̵̱͐͜y̶̟̘͔̗̞͈̌̏̅̓̑̌̕̕͝o̶̖̭͚̓͋͊̚ͅu̶̧͓̣̣̞̪̓,̶͓̻̮̺͕̦̮͙̹͐ ̷̘̣̙̯̪̄̐͆̃ḁ̸̀͝͝͝ͅn̴͙͖͕̖̓̐̌̅͛́d̸̦͍̣̱̳̋̇̿͝͝ ̴̨̫͖̦̝͇̳͈̱̯͆̿̀̑͐͌y̴̼͓͙̪̏̓̎̈̄̓̇̈́̕͝o̴̞̱̗̺͉̐͘u̷̧̟̝̳̳̍̍̾̐͂͌̏̒͝ ̷̡͎̱͕͕̠̜̦͈̈́c̸͎̳͖͇̳̺̋a̸͈͋̕n̶̡̢͈̻͇̮̜͇̲̓͗͝'̶̛͖̗̪̿͆́̈́t̴̤̻͔̣̣̪̳̅ ̴͉͔͓̦̯̓͛̒̇̆̔̾̓̆g̸̻͎̭͉̱̾̃̐̏e̸̟͕̖̪̫̩̞̿̌͊͂͊t̸̛̞̳̲͍̎̾̑̐͂͠͝ ̷̛̭͍͕̇͗̄͐̈́̾̑͝r̷̡͕͇̹͖̆i̴̥͎̘̲̬̥͓̳̟̱̓̌͛̑̿̚̕͝ḏ̷̨̹͎̦̘̠̽̒̓̚͜͜͠ ̴̮̄̆̍̈ͅo̶̹̞̟͖͖̼͆̅͘f̶̧̧͇̤̠̤̙̮̯͎̋ ̷̢̮̻̼̱̱̖̽͌̿͂͐̽m̷̺̲͎̣̗̝̗͔͍̪̄̑̈́ȅ̴̖͆̈̍͋̕
BE QUIET!
"Eric, are you there? Are you listening to me ? "
I look at him, I know I look weird now, I'm in a cold sweat
" yes, I'm listening to you, I think... "
don't be a p*ssy Eric
" let's go, let's do it "
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I had resisted for a few hours, but I couldn't take it anymore. I can't explain what happened, Stan and I were walking, obviously Wendy had arrived too, everything I said was ignored, every action I was trying to do was as if it vanished in a few seconds, and between their kisses and cuddles I couldn't make it anymore.
i ran so fast i don't even know how i got there, now i'm at the lake, and I don't want to go home, I want to stay here, away from everything and everyone.
With Stan it always felt like I was in heaven, everything was so perfect...
but nothing is forever, I always felt something for Stan, but obviously I couldn't get in between him and Wendy.
I'm a complete idiot, I always thought he felt the same things. I will never be to him what he is to me. and now i feel like i'm in limbo, and I can't get out of it.
I can't blame anyone... except myself
"are you contemplating suicide or something? shouldn't you be with your boyfriend for a walk?"
and now him, Eric and his annoying, but also low and deep, adolescent voice, i'd say it's grossly annoying, and i usually do, but it's a lie, he's growing too and along with his body his voice is growing to...
Continue...
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hehehehehe seee yaaa
YOU ARE READING
ˆI don't belong hereˆ
Fanfiction( kyman ) people can talk but they don't even now what they say. sometimes I feel like a problem. I. am. not. wrong. is love so sh!tty? ⚠️tw: mention of suicide, angst, psychology, scars, blood, potentially sexual content
