My Epitome of Liberty

She was always too... independent.

Hindi niya kailangan ng tulong ng kahit sino, hindi niya kailangan ng atensyon mula kahit kanino, hindi niya kailangan ng taong mapagsasabihan o masasandalan.

She was, perfect as they say. Sabi pa nga nila, you shouldn't date an independent woman dahil hindi ka naman nila kakailanganin. You are never a loss for them.

Hindi ka kawalan.

But, was it true? May ganon bang ka-perpektong tao? Siyempre dadaan rin naman tayo sa puntong magkakaroon tayo ng downfall, wherein kakailanganin talaga natin ng masasandalan, hindi ba? We are human, after all.

Alien ba siya?

At least, that's what I told myself para magkaroon ng lakas ng loob. Lakas ng loob para umusad, para makilala kung sino at ano ba talaga ako.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I just found myself wanting to see her. To see her achievements, to see how she does things, to see what made her happy. Hindi ko namamalayan na napapadalas na pala ang pagtuon ko ng atensyon sa kanya, I made efforts and different kinds of excuses makasama lang siya.

Hell, I was never the type to feel butterflies pero ramdam na ramdam ko yung kilig sa tuwing babanat siya about mathematics. Damn!

But then it hit me, she never needed me. Sa tuwing may problema siya, she acts like I was not around. It's like I'm just one of her science projects or math problems na gumugugol sa oras niya.

Heck, napaka-gwapo ko namang Baking Soda Volcano!

I can't even buy her coffee or what, she always had one. Ayaw niya ring nagpapalibre, sabi niya saka ko na raw gawin 'yon kapag sariling pera ko na ang gamit ko at hindi ng magulang ko. Witwew! Ang mature!

Damn, Shin, why do you make me feel like this? You make me feel like a girl, minsan nga nagdadalawang isip na 'ko kung babae na ba ko? Ako pa 'yung nagpapapadyak sa higaan sa gabi tuwing magsesend ka ng "goodnight" message! Gosh girl!

You were the epitome of independence. Akala ko nga tatakbo ka nang presidente. You made my life a rough challenge. Ibang iba ka sa kanilang lahat, ibang iba.

We did everything together. Kahit na hindi mo ako kailangan, I was there. Kahit na hindi mo naman hinihingi, binibigay ko. Sa bawat oras na masaya ka, nandoon ako.

Pero umalis ka.

Iniwan mo ko.

Like I was never even part of your life. Like I was just a spring breeze passing by you. Like I never loved you, like you never loved me.

Well, did you even?

'Cause damn Shin, you made me live. Ikaw yung nandyan nung walang wala ako. You didn't even know that you fixed me nung sirang sira na 'ko. You are my healing, you are the remedy.

You make me alive.

But you left me mourning for your loss.