To Be A Victor - H. Abernathy

𝟚𝟜. 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔽𝕚𝕘 𝕋𝕣𝕖𝕖

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I wait in my bedroom on the train until Connie knocks on the door. I hurry to open it, excited to see her. 

"Happy almost birthday!" she grins, holding a wrapped gift in her hands. 

"Thanks! You didn't have to get me anything-" 

"Just open it," she pushes it to me. 

I peel back the wrapping paper and find a box, containing a necklace. 

"Is it a tree?" I ask. I'm pretty sure it's a tree, made from a sort of rope. A small red ribbon weaves throughout the branches. 

"Yeah- a fig tree," she grins. I see a similar looking symbol tattooed on her wrist. 

"Does it mean something?" I ask, putting the necklace around my neck. It's all made from a thin rope-like material. 

She taps her ear and says, "No, just a traditional design from District 7." 

The tree does mean something; but we can't talk about it here. 

"You'll want to be careful about who sees you wearing it; you know how the Capitol gets about the mixing of districts," she says, meaningfully. 

I nod and tuck it inside my sweater. "Thank you." 

"Yeah, you're welcome," she smiles. 

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When we get to the Capitol that night, it's late. There are no parties tonight, so all of the victors stay in a special building made just for us. 

I'm sitting in my pajamas in the common area of our building with Connie and two other victors- both men from districts 2 and 9. They're all recent winners. 

The guy from 2 introduces himself as Cobalt Quinn. He seems like he's in his early thirties. The man from 9, Barclay Adams, looks no older than twenty. 

I notice both of them have a tattoo of a fig tree with red ribbon in its branches on their wrists, just like Connie. 

Nobody mentions their tattoos, but I make a point to move my necklace over my shirt so it is visible. 

I don't know exactly what the symbol means, but I'm sure it has something to do with a rebellion against the Capitol. What else would need to be hidden so urgently? 

I get to know Cobalt and Barclay. They're both pretty well spoken and intellectual. 

All three of my fellow victors look at me with pity in their eyes. I wish they wouldn't. I don't need them feeling sorry for me. 

We talk about our lives in the districts. Before we know it, the sun is about to rise. Connie pokes me in the arm. "You'd better get to bed; we've got a couple parties today." 

I roll my eyes. "I'm not 7 years old." 

"Oh, right, you're 16," she laughs. 

"Almost 17!" I grin. Despite our laughter, there's a deep melancholy feeling undertoning it all. 

Yes, it's mildly funny how young I am compared to the others. But not when I'm here to have sex with strangers. To be prostituted against my will. Not when I've been gruesomely wounded and almost killed by people my age. 

I go to my room and lay in bed, hugging a pillow. I sleep and have dreams of disturbing things from my games. 

Eventually, I'm woken up by my prep team. It's nearly 2 pm. They file my nails, wax my body, polish my skin, and make me "perfect". 

My first party is earlier in the evening; from 5-10 pm. Then, I'm expected to go to another one at 11 pm and start celebrating my birthday at midnight. 

I'm put in a sparkly pink gown. It's unusually long, but makes up for it by being skin tight and having a large piece cut out from the back. 

The prep team does my hair and makeup. Then, I meet the other victors outside and we walk to a large mansion somewhere close to the center of the Capitol. 

Since I have to leave at 9 pm, I immediately am greeted and taken to the bedroom of an older capitol man. 

After that party is over, my prep team gets me freshened up and re-does my makeup for the next party. This time, they give me a short red dress with pretty lace details. 

I socialize more at this party. There are a lot more people here. They all seem very excited to celebrate my turning 17. 

There's a large cake. It doesn't taste as good as the one Haymitch made me. 

I find myself missing Haymitch a lot. I don't know what it is. 

I shouldn't have slept in my bed with him. 

But there's just something about him...

I push all thoughts of Haymitch out of my head. I can't think about him right now. I have to stay unattached. 

When midnight comes, I'm given countless congratulations and "Happy Birthday"s. 

It doesn't mean much to me. I find myself starting to despise the Capitol people. They have everything. 

But, I can't think about that right now. I have to keep up appearances. 

The rest of the night goes by as usual. 

The next morning, I lay sideways in my bed in the Victor's hotel. The necklace from Connie rests in my hand. 

I trace the rope lightly with my fingers.

It reminds me of this old song from 12. The Hanging Tree. A lot of the kids at school used to sing it at recess, before it got banned.

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree?

Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me." 

This necklace of rope- I can't help but feel that it might result in something bad for me. 

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