Melancholy||dream smp head-cannon

|Its never my time|

Tommy! Let's be the bad guys!
You can't go to the nether.
No one can visit you.
You are alone.
I can't go on.
Desolate.
Gone.
Sad.
~~~

"Tommy! Look at this picture I have! I think you'll like it!!"

Wilbur was following me around with the dumb smile.
Not a care in the world.
How can he be smilling in this situation?
Is life easier when your dead?

"-it's tubbo! I think you'll like it! Just slow down so I can drop it-"

I stopped, my head spun. The mention of my best friends name spill out of his mouth seemed to take my ability to walk away.

"Tubbo.."

No. I can't keep getting distracted. Tubbo doesn't care obviously. No one cares. If they cared they would show up. I bet Wilbur is just pitying me too.

I kept walking. Ignoring the pale grey ghosts pleas for me to stop ignoring him. He kept saying that he just wanted me to smile. Like when the prime log was set up. Or when I was setting up the beach party.

I was really excited for a that.

I felt a small sad smile tug at the corners of my mouth.

Why am I so mean to him?

He built my new home.
He came with me so I wouldn't be alone.

He's just pitying me but he's here with me. Maybe he is the only one that cares..

I stopped walking,
"I want to go home..."

"What do you mean Tommy. Home isn't far away, I thought you said we were going to mine for a while!"
Wilbur looked at me with his dopey smile. His his legs bent behind him as his arms just hung in front. His dirty old jeans that were now a shade of brownish grey. They were ripped and hung low off his legs giving them a nice baggy look. His old yellow ripped up sweater hung on him too. The cut in the fabric was sewed at the edges but the stitches were coming  out due to not being taken care of. His hair was light brown, and his old worn out beanie sat on his head.

Everything ghostbur wore were colors a sad person would wear. But suited him nicely.

"Wilbur are you ever sad?"

I turned to the pale grey floating boy behind me, letting him see my hollow, no longer bright blue eyes.

I could see his expression.. it quickly filled with hesitation, but softened a little. The mood around us changed.

"not-...." his voice cracked a little
"-not anymore now that I've got friend!"
He smiled again.

His smile was warming. I could feel one tugging at my lips as well.

"Here tommy..I know things have been hard lately but you'll get through it!"

He dropped the picture of tubbo and some blue.

The rest of that night was spent in comfortable silence. I got my stacks of dirt, cobblestone, and wood that I needed. We were going to build houses for my friends when they visit!

My conclusion was that they didn't want to sleep in tents so I was going to build small houses with the he help of Wilbur.

"Do you think they'll like this?"

"Oh I think they'll love this Tommy!"

~~~

We spent the rest of the night building four small houses. Each could fit up to three people per house. Sure they were small but they were homey like the camper Wilbur built.

"Tommy you know what we should call theese houses??"

Wilbur seemed really excited and happy. I couldn't help but feel safe and happy as well.

"Lads on tour!"

He jumped a little bit in excitement but since he was floating to start with, he just went higher up in the sky.

We both laughed at that.

"PAHAHAH!- sURe- Wilbur-"

"HAHahhe-.....lads on tour it is."

And there it was. Labeled with a birch sign, 'Lads on Tour!'

~~~

It was now night time. The worst part of the day. I layed on the beach, the same beach that the party was going to be at, and stared at the starts.

They reminded me of tubbo. Home. Lmanburg.

"Tubbo.. I'll see you again."

I looked up at the moon. What a pretty moon. I don't think I'll be able to see it much longer...

My hunger was very low and I was on a few hearts. I didn't care though. Right now I felt like nothing in the world mattered right now.

Is this what it feel like to finally be free? Being able to live without a care in the world?

But then...it was like I was put in a trance. Almost like i was drugged but I wasn't. I had control of my actions but I didn't at the same time. The only thought that was going through my mind was to be free.

Not tubbo. Home. Wilbur. Dream. No. One.

I left the beach. Going my tent. I crafted a quick barrel and emptied my whole inventory. I even crafted a quick book and quill to additionally write something. I didn't quite know what but I knew what I wrote would mean a lot to someone.

I went to my Ender Chest and grabbed two things. My compass and tubbos bandana. The compass sat in my off hand, and Tubbos bandanna sat around my neck.

I started buliding a tower up, beside the blown up remains of my home that Wilbur built for me. Home.

The last time I'll probably ever say that.

I kept mindlessly buliding up until all my leftovers of dirt, wood, and cobblestone were gone. I looked down to see that I was above the clouds.

The stars seemed closer but still so far away. Why?

I guess I was already crying at this point. I grabbed tubbos bandana that I tried so hard to keep clean. To keep it smelling like tubbo...I grabbed it and kissed it.

"Bye cruel world."

Then I stepped off.

I let go.

~I think it's time I died~