To Have, To Hold, and To Leave: A Bryce Hall FanFiction «completed»

9

"I'm sorry, what?" he chuckled. 
I sighed, irritated at how he was making light of a situation that was beyond important to me. "I wouldn't say that lightly or as a joke. I haven't had my period in a few months, and I just thought that it was because of the stress. I had some morning sickness this morning, and I panicked. I took a test, and it was positive. You're this baby's father, so I figured that you had a right to know."
"If this is a ploy to get me to call off the divorce, it's not working," he replied. 
"Damn it, Bryce! I'm not asking you to call off the divorce. I have accepted that you are not happy being with me, and although that hurts me more than I can even begin to explain, all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy," I said, my voice catching in my throat as tears stung at the back of my eyes. "I'll be making an appointment to confirm the pregnancy. As soon as I have proof, I'd like to meet with you to discuss."
"Fine," he replied. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

He hung up, and I tried to calm myself down slowly. I made an appointment for the next morning, and I headed back over to Josh and Nessa's house to pick Owen up.
When Nessa opened the door, she could sense that there was something wrong with me. "What happened?" she asked. 
"God, I probably shouldn't tell you," I muttered. "I can't even be sure yet."
She looked at me, placing a hand on my belly. Somehow she just knew. "You've got this. We're here for you."
I didn't have to say a word as she led me through the house and into the living room where Owen and Jasmine were playing. "Thank you, Ness."

-the next day-

When Isaiah and Annalisa were dropped off at school and I had dropped Owen off at Addison's house with Bryce, I made my way to my doctor's appointment. I sat in the waiting room patiently. This was the first time that I had sat in this waiting room by myself, waiting for confirmation of pregnancy.
I knew that no matter what happened, Bryce was still going to be the same amazing dad that I had seen him grow into for the last ten years. 
When I finally got back into the room, I took the test, and I waited anxiously. "Alright, Kate," she began. "So your test is positive. I know that you have three children already, so I'd like to ask what you would like to do next."
"Like you said, I've been through this a few times. My husband and I are getting a divorce, but we've agreed to work through this any way that we can. Thank you so much."

I left the doctor's office, and I headed straight to Addison's house to talk to Bryce. He was going to be picking up the kids from school for his weekend, so I was just going to let him get Owen a little early. 
I knocked on her door, waiting patiently. I wasn't sure if this was a conversation that she should be included in or not. It was obvious to me that she was here to stay, but was it appropriate?
Bryce opened the door, looking at me curiously. I nodded my confirmation, and I could see his face fall. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to," I sighed. 
"I don't have to do this if I don't want to?" he repeated, his voice rising. I could feel his anger, and it terrified me. "What do you mean? This is my child that we're talking about! I won't just walk out like my dad did!"
"I wasn't saying that you should, Bryce, but I know that you're trying to move on to a new life. I don't want to take that from you. I can't let myself take that from you just because I got pregnant while things were still good for the two of us," I explained. 
"I don't want a new life, Kate. We weren't working anymore. That doesn't mean that I want to forget about our children. We're going to work through this. It's not ideal by any means, but we've definitely conquered things that were less ideal than this. Please keep me updated on everything. I want to come to appointments, if that's alright with you, Kate," he replied. 

I nodded, and I went to speak again as Addison walked up behind him, carrying Owen in her arms. I shouldn't be so jealous of her holding our son, but it hurt me more than it should've. I found myself repeating the mantra of 'she has the life that should've been mine,' and I cringed at the idea that I sounded like my mother had all of those years ago. 
"Hey, Kate! It's good to see you! It's been what, five, ten years?" she greeted me. 
"Um, yeah, it has been a long time, hasn't it?" I replied. "I was just leaving. I'll see you guys on Sunday to get the kids, okay?"

I sat in the front seat of the car, hitting my head against the steering wheel. "Why on earth did I think that I could do this?" I sighed. It had been easier to accept what was happening when it wasn't being thrown in my face. 
The drive back to the house felt long, and when I finally got home, the silence was deafening. Two months into our divorce, and I still wasn't used to our house not bustling with the movement and noise of our kids. 
I wanted a drink, but the pregnancy put a little bit of a damper on that, so I opted for a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream instead. 

My phone rang, and I answered it quickly. "What's up, Jaden?"
"I know that Bryce has the kids this weekend. Why don't you come and have dinner with Mads and me tonight?"
Thank God for the friends that had turned into family. I needed them more than anything right now.