Song // krii7y

Jaren's First Show - Love Drug

The curtain was closed. Fitz, Swagger, and John sat backstage, vaping and drinking. The former two found that somehow, alcohol clamed their nerves and made them play better. The latter just wanted an excuse to drink. 

Soft footsteps and an even softer voice sounded from the stage. John mentioned it to his buddies, but they didn't seem to hear it (if they were sober enough to hear anything at all), so he went to check it out by himself. 

Jaren was pacing by the curtains. He smiled unconvincingly at John as he approached and pulled open the curtains a bit, revealing around fifty people all staring up at the stage, eager for the show to begin. If he wasn't buzzed, he would've been terrified too. Instead, he held his arms out and pulled him into a hug. Jaren hugged him back as daintily and cuddly as his body was. 

John played with his hair and whispered little encouragements. As Jaren's heart rate started to calm, he sang a soft lullaby that his mother had sung to him when he was a child. His voice his nowhere near the boy's perfect one, but it sufficed. He wasn't sure what to do. Neither of them did. What were you supposed to do in a moment like that?

"Look, I'm sorry and I know we don't each other and I'm being weird and... and... I've just never done anything like this before in front of this many people. What if I mess up or something? They'll all laugh at me. I'll embarrass you guys. I-I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry."

It took a minute for John to understand what he was saying. He just shook his head, sighed, and replied, "Who gives a shit?"

"What?"

"Who gives a shit if you embarrass yourself?"

"It's my first--"

"Yeah, I know. Jaren, think about it, Fitz and Swagger are drunk out their asses right now, and I'm not that far from it myself. What's the worse you could do that could beat anything we do?"

"But what if they don't like me?"

"Then fuck 'em! That's their problem. You're better than those sourpusses anyways."

"Thanks, John. That means--"

The other two band members rushed in, hurrying to grab their instruments and finish setting up. They were about 10 minutes late starting. Things were going south, Jaren could feel it. John held an arm tightly on his waist as the curtains drew back.

***

For someone who had just been freaking out about the size of the crowd a few minutes before, Jaren handled the band's entrance surprisingly well. The people were angry. They'd expected an hour long show, after all, and they were cut off by 15 minutes. The very few regulars of the band's performances made confused faces upon seeing the new singer, but Fitz had decided not to tell anyone about the change. "If they want to wonder, let them wonder. Besides, I'm not even sure if he's gonna stay long-term or not."

As Jaren took center stage, the apprehension throughout the room was thick and heavy, almost suffocating every single one of the musicians. But they held on. Even their brand-new, never-done-a-live-performance-in-his-life-before singer. Everyone held their breath as Jaren started his first few notes:

I'm not a man meant to fall in love
And it's not what I was planning to do
So I hope you can understand
How I can hate those eyes of yours
And live with myself in the morning
Because it's all I was meant to do
I'm not supposed to fall in love with you
And why do you love me too?

His breathing relaxed even more, and Jaren looked at one with the music. Truth be told, he was. He hadn't had this much fun since... well, ever. Nothing in his life could've ever prepared him for this moment. He was suddenly more than Jaren Smith, Canadian loser. He was the new boy everyone loved. He took the microphone off the stand and danced around on stage, leaning down to sing directly to the audience, his voice beautifully cocktailing with the other members' backup vocals. He was the phoenix rising up from the ashes of his old life.

You're so fucking beautiful
I'm so in love
I could spend eternity
With you in my arms
Fuck all society,
Fuck both our jobs,
We'll go wherever
We'll do what we want

Despite the cuss words that Fitz had been told to take out by the club's owner, people seemed to genuinely be enjoying the show. People flooded in the doors, trying to catch a glimpse of the boy whose face was as beautiful as his voice. One girl mentioned she was from Chicago, another from Britain, one of the men from South Africa. It felt like people were coming from all over the world just to see Jaren sing. 

Cuz you, you are the one I love
And you, you are my ecstasy

You, you are my love drug
You, you are what I'm hooked on...

The rest of the band members were a lot harder to read than Jaren was. Fitz played his bass strings expertly, not looking up to the crowd once. Whether it was stage fright or focus went unknown. Swagger had always been a pretty good drummer, but tonight, he played extra well. Most everyone did. But especially him. Perhaps he was trying to give Jaren some competition? John wasn't really sure. And speaking of John...

Whoever was working the club's lights turned them to a neon pink. As Jaren turned around to walk John's way in his new "show biz" style, he saw that for just a split second, his sweet brown eyes reflected little pink hearts. Huh. His eyes were brown. He hadn't noticed that earlier. His guitar solo for that song was even more powerful than usual because the whole way through it, he was thinking over what Swagger had mentioned. Was he in love with Jaren? His brain said no, but his heart disagreed. 

The rest of the song was drowned out by the crowd's cheering. Jaren somehow made his voice audible, but it wasn't so much the formation of his words as it was the noise it made. He could've sang complete gibberish and the room still would've been packed. At the end of the show, the club owner even let them stay a little bit longer. Their shortened 45-minute show ended up lasting well over 2 hours, but no one really noticed. Everyone was lost in the beauty of Jaren's voice. Including John.