"you cannot win, give in and believe the words I say. because in you heart you feel them to be true."
it's back......to haunt me, to break me to my core.
It comes back with a fiery vengeance, I do not know if this time I will win...
It has always been there, even in my brightest moments.
It refuses to truly die....
I ask my self many...many questions, and all I get are answers that are twisted and bent.
It bends the word so that I cannot recognize the truth, or what to believe.
The flood begins once again, washing away every foundation I build to keep the flood at bay.
As the tidal wave of questions flood through my mind, I grab for anything solid....
Screaming and clawing for any familiar thing that might just save me.
But I should have expected this.... It always floods through breaking me.
And I always rebuilt and repair the damage it causes.....
But I hear it laugh at me as I pick my self up, it laughs because it knows.
The time will come again, and just like the sun sets.
It will be back.....
By now I have experienced the wrath of this thing, and I have become strong.
But it always knows how to cut me down, Bleeding and screaming.
It knows my every weakness and fault, no matter how hard I try to hide them.
It finds them....all
I have trained, even rallied help to fight this thing.
But to no avail....
Each and every time it cuts me down, and each and every time I get back up.
It make me wonder if I surprise it by getting back up.
Even now I refuse to yield to its might, but maybe this time will be different.
Maybe I can win, because I have something it can never take from me.
I have the strength that was given to me by blood.
This I know I will always have, even when the armour designed to protect me fails.
This time I will fight with everything I have, and should I fall I know that I refuse to stay down.
Even if it is me I am up against.....
