Moonlight Waves

Heaven's Gateway

     My boots clomp heavily up the stairs to the top deck and I wipe the sleep from eyes with my fist. Moist air clings to my face and I blink to try and clear my still foggy brain, but it doesn't help. That's when I realize it's not my sleepy brain—the world is covered in a blanket of white fog. I can barely see five feet in front of me and I can just make out the forms of the crew moving about the ship.
  Everything seems eerily silent, no chatter amongst the crew nor even the lapping of the water as the ship glides through it. There's only the slight creaking of the ships rigging as a soft wind pushes us onward.
  The sea spits freezing water into my face and I instinctively back away from the railing and wipe the cold water droplets from my face. I pull my knitted cap farther over my ears and shove my cold, red fingers into my pockets.
  Winter is definitely upon us now—early, but here none the less.
   I use memory and hearing more than sight, to guide me up to the helm where I know Ian will be. But when I get up there, it's Captain Dax standing there instead of Ian.
  "Morning, Captain." I say in greeting, my voice breaking through the silence and seeming to carry across the entire ship—but I'd practically whispered.
  "Morning, Nereida." He responds, his own voice quite. "Dani is better and is back in his position in the crow's nest. You won't be needed there anymore."
I look up at the crow's nest, but can't see anything but more fog.
"Okay," I answer, "Where's Ian? I'll find something to do from him."
"Below deck preparing our canons." He answers, "I know these seas better than he does, I wanted to make sure he didn't sail us into Heaven's Gateway with this fog."
"Understandable." I murmur, remembering all the tragic stories of ships running into the cluster of rocks jutted out of the sea bottom.
They're helpful for people like us as we hide and wait for our target, but for unsuspecting passenger ships, they're a horrendous sight.
The biggest rocks are shaped like an arch, connecting at the top. But the dangerous ones are positioned around it randomly, some barely scratching the hull of the ship and others the same size as the ship or larger. Myths have given it the name "Heaven's Gateway", people say when a ship goes down by the rocks the souls pass through the archway to Heaven. Some even say that if you sail through the archway with your ship in tack, the ship and the crew will be carried up to Heaven to sail forever on peaceful seas, skipping the painful part of death.
Some have tried it, but I never know what becomes of them, Heaven's Gateway is usually given a wide berth because people don't want to test their luck. Especially in this kind of weather.
We're definitely testing our luck.
It had seemed like a good idea when Captain Dax had suggested we hide among it's rocks so The Widower won't catch sight of us. But it's starting to become a worse and worse idea with every mile we get closer.
  I walk back down below deck in search of some hot porridge from Charlie and Cook, my hunger for food putting aside my hunt for Ian.
   When I get to the small kitchen, the only other person sitting at the table is Jacobe while Charlie and Cook clean up from the other sailors who already ate. Charlie doesn't even say anything, just simply puts a steaming bowl of porridge in front of me.
  I sit across from Jacobe and blow on the porridge. Jacobe doesn't say anything to me and if I'm being honest, I feel bad for calling him an idiot the other day. He hasn't exactly been cordial towards me since I name called him.
   "I'm sorry I called you an idiot." I mumble hurriedly, not very good with apologies.
  He looks up at me and seems confused for a second but then nods his head.
  "Apology accepted." He answers, before adding a moment later. "You have to admit though, you probably wouldn't have gone back home if I hadn't told you to."
  "Yes, I know." I admit, "I was just frustrated that we basically made a huge circle when we could've been waiting for them at home."
  I scoop up a spoonful of brown porridge and shove it into my mouth, it's still too hot and I have to take breathes through my teeth to try and cool down my burnt tongue.
  "You had no idea they'd be coming there." Jacobe continues, smiling slightly at my attempts to cool down my burnt mouth. "In a way, this big circle was necessary."
  He takes a bite of his perfectly cooled porridge, eating it calmly as I finally swallow the hot porridge in my mouth. Jacobe starts to say something, changes his mind and then finally speaks.
  "I am regretting getting on this ship—you people are too selfless and are asking for trouble." He says, "Any chance I can get off somewhere?"
   He knows these seas and the maps, he already knows the answer to his own question. But I can see that he's actually scared even though he acts as if he isn't.
  "We'll be coming upon 'Heaven's Gateway' in a couple hours." I tell him, "There's no turning back now."
  He nods his head and scoops out the last of his porridge before standing from the table.
  "Then I'd better go sharpen my rapier." He says and starts to leave the kitchen but I call after him.
"You knew we were hunting down The Widower when we hired you," I say, "you knew the trouble we were asking for, so why'd you come?"
  He considers the question for a moment and then shrugs a shoulder, his hand hitting his side limply. "Because some days you think you're brave enough to face death, and other days you know you're not."
   He turns from me and walks out of the kitchen, his footsteps echoing through the quiet ship. I look up and meet Charlie's gaze, his eyes saying more than his words could.
   Death.
I'm not ready to face it. I don't think anybody on this ship is ready to face it—is anyone ever ready?
I'd like to think I'd face death with defiance and not go down without a fight. But then again, I know that when God calls me home there's no mortal way for me to stay.
  I believe that I know where I'm going after this life, and so when the fears of this world overcome my thoughts, I choose to focus on the hope and splendor of Heaven. Sometimes it helps get rid of the fears, but sometimes it doesn't.
  I'm brave. I know I'm brave. I've faced a lot of the unknowns in my life with courage and confidence, haven't I? I just don't think I can be brave when death comes knocking on my door.
  I can act brave though. Yes, I can be terrified on the inside, but I'll appear brave to those around me. And when they tell of my death, they'll tell of how I first defied death and then sat down to have tea with it.
  That's how I'll do it, I'll be brave for everyone around me as my body fails and my soul passes on. But would that be a lie? I'd leave this earth telling a lie?
  I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts and take another bite of porridge.
  There's no reason to be thinking about this.
I'm fine. Everyone is fine. Capital F. I. N. E. Fine.
  What happens, will happen. Giving myself a headache over it won't change a thing.
  I shove another spoonful of breakfast into my mouth, letting it warm my insides now that it's at the perfect temperature.