A letter to Uenoyama || Given

The dream

"Mafuyu... Mafuyu! Where you going?", I yelled while I saw him getting far away from me.

I tried to reach him, but he just couldn't hear me... Or maybe he could, but he was ignornig me.

I ran towards him without hesitations, but I couldn't reach him. I was so deseperate to get to him, but then he suddenly stopped. He turned back and he saw me directly in the eyes.

"Uenoyama-kun... please don't follow me. Don't do it", he said.

"But where you going?", I asked.

"I'm going to see Yuki".

I felt a heavy weight inside my chest and  like a hole in my stomach. I had never in my entire life felt this way. What was it?

"But Yuki is...", I tried to say, but someone interrupted me.

"Mafuyu!", I heard someone's voice behind me.

I tried to turn around, but I couldn't, my body didn't react. Suddenly, three people walked next to me. One of them was Shizusumi, I recognized him because of his height, the other one was Hiiragi, and I did recognize him because of the hair, but the other person was a total stranger for me. He was a guy, one blond, tall and slim guy. I couldn't see his face, but I could see him going directly to Mafuyu, and then, he hugged him.

"I missed you", Mafuyu said.

I'd never seen Mafuyu that happy. He was smiling. It was pretty clear that he was stupidly happy for being sorrounded by the existence of that guy.

"Should we go?", Hiiragi asked to the other three.

"Yes! I'm so hungry", the stranger replied.

"Mafuyu, aren't you going to say goodbye to Uenoyama", Shizusumi asked.

I felt a lump in my throat that didn't let me breath. I wanted to say something, but my voice just couldn't get out.

It hurt.

"Uenoyama-kun, thank you for everything", Mafuyu said.

"Ma... fuyu... Why... does it sound like if you were saying goodbye forever?", I asked.

"Because... I want to be with Yuki".

"Ritsuka!", I heard my sister's voice next to my bed.

"Agh, damn it!".

"I'm going out. Finish the laundry".

She got out of my room and after that I heard the front door being closed.

I sat for a moment. I still felt that pain in my chest. What with that dream? Shizusumi's words were making me think this sort of things? I was affected by those songs he sent to me? I hadn't listened all of them, but the ones I listened made me think a lot. All the lyrics were very melancholic, they sounded like a cry for help, and I admit I've never listened to such despair in a song. They didn't sound like that cool Yuki Hiiragi described at all, but rather the one Shizusumi introduced. 

There was still a song I hadn't listened, but I hadn't done it because of... fear? I didn't know what I could find in it. It was so much work trying to complete the main damn song as if coming to torture me with another depressing one  wasn't enough. 

I felt sick anyways and listen to it would make me feel even worse, but I had a quick momentum that made me do it, because if I did it after I'm sure I wouldn't be able to listen all of it.

"The next summer"

One day I asked you to go
On a beach date with me
I'd want to stay here with you forever
In an infinite moment in front of the sea.