Sanders Sides One Shots

Phases

This was an idea I had come to mind and none of this is really planned(not that any of these have been djsnd). Some of this is kind of like- a projection I suppose.

AU: Trans! Logan

Tw/Cw: Dysphria, slight internalized transphobia(?)

Summary: Logan has had many phases in his life as most kids do. This one is new, and he's scared to think this phase might not even be a phase.

A/N: I'll be referring to Logan for the most part as they and as a nameless person to represent kinda how I interpret it being when you don't know what your name or pronouns are.
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A young troubled teen was pacing about the room. Thoughts racing, not once stopping. Wave after wave of thoughts crashed through their mind. They were losing themselves here. All because of what, a new phase? That's what it had to be.

Ever since they were young they went through phases. Their first phase was their butterfly phase. They obsessed over the magnificent winked insects. They read every picture book they could get their hands on, drew butterflies during art time, and convinced their parents to get butterfly wallpaper. That left once they were 10.

The next phase was the lego phase. Everything to them had to be legos. It couldn't just be the small sets, it had to be the big sets made for the older kids. They would build for hours and had display cases. Eventually, when they turned 14, they outgrew the legos after using them for so long.

The most recent phase was their perfectionist phase. This was what they had thought to be their worst phase. They started seeing everything as having to be perfect. If it wasn't, forget it. It wasn't good enough. If they didn't like it why would others? This phase still bled through to the next metaphorical chapters of their life but for the most part, they had outgrown it and rather learned the truth that perfection cannot be accomplished. Yet simply to try their best and their best was perfectly fine.

However, the phase most troubling them now was this phase where they didn't feel like they knew who they were. That's all this had to be, a phase. They had known themselves their whole life, how could that just change. 17 years they'd been alive. They knew what they liked and what they didn't. Who they were and who they weren't. That's what they thought at least. Then one day, this question appeared in their mind, what if they didn't really know who they were?

The thought remained persistent for weeks. They couldn't be someone else, they worked so hard to be who they were now. They couldn't just throw it all away! The thought began to bother him so they tried telling a friend about it. Their friend suggested that it may have to do with their gender identity or maybe sexuality. They thought they had that all figured out...didnt they?

Months passed, and they grew tired of this feeling that they weren't who they said they were. They were always going to be with this body so what could they really do about it anyway. Their body. Was that the issue? They...liked their body. It looked ok...but was it really theirs? Then it clicked. "I dont like this body, this isn't my body." They whispered to themselves "This isn't meant to be my body. What body am I meant to have then?" Even if it was a new annoying question, it was a question at least.

What body were they meant to have? Perhaps one where they didn't look as feminine. That was the first answer that came to mind. But if they didn't want a feminine body did they want a masculine one? Was their an in-between. What did they want?

~2 years~

It had been two years since Logan asked himself the questions of who he was. Since then he figured out who he was. He was a male. He was 17 then, 19 now. He was going to college and he had been able to come out to his mother. She...was learning he would give her that at least. Logan hadn't felt stuck anymore and learned he couldn't always think he figured himself out. He had years if existing ahead of him. For now, he was Logan, he/him. Who knows what experiences were going to change or add onto that?

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Word count: 751

I hope you enjoyed that. It's 1 am and kinda rushed. Maybe I'll rewrite it someday. It was sort of a vent ish in a way?
Wishing you a peaceful morning/afternoon/night

🌻 Nick 🌻