Save Me (Levi x OC)

Chapter 45

The next few days passed in a blur, each one slightly more taxing than the last. I'd get less and less sleep, and even Levi's comfortable embrace wasn't enough to calm me down anymore. The days were all so similar yet so different at the same time - every morning would be a rushed breakfast, followed by the quickest routine known of chores. Then, we'd spent hours upon hours on training, with Levi pushing us harder than ever before. He'd pitch us against one another and force us to charge forward with full intent of killing, and make us fight until we couldn't lift our arms anymore. This wasn't new to me; I'd had similar training before, and the only problem for me was the annoying sting that came from my stomach every now and then. However, the evenings were also restless as meeting after meeting consumed hours of my time.

Today was no different, with me waking up in a rush and quickly changing from my sleep clothes into the uniform, somewhat aware of the fact that Levi was watching me from his place, still under the covers, but he then slid out of the bed as he, too, changed into the uniform. By now, I'd practically moved in with Levi, and he let me store my clothing on one side of the wardrobe. The only things left in my old room were a few medical supplies and extra rolls of gauze - I'd taken the drawing with me, and it was propped up on the bedside table, and the dagger I'd found was almost always strapped to my thigh. Even still, Levi respected my privacy, and would almost always avert his gaze when I was changing, except for the occasional brief glance to make sure that my old wounds and scars had healed.

For whatever reason, Levi was able to change into his uniform much faster than me, and he watched as I fumbled with the harness' straps with that unreadable expression of his that seemed to only appear when I was around. Once I'd finally managed to secure the straps, I placed a tiny kiss on Levi's forehead, after which he'd grabbed my hand with his own, his palms rough from spending hours every day practicing with the swords, and he led me to the cafeteria. It still amazed me how quickly he could change his expressions - when it was just us in his office, he'd been soft and kind, but now, as we slowly walked down the hall, his face was back to that stoic look. 

Still, over the past few months, I'd noticed how he always seemed to be holding my hand, almost as if he was afraid that if he let go for even a minute, I'd slip out of his grasp forever. It didn't matter where we were or who was around us, he'd keep holding my hand until he absolutely had to let go. Once we were inside the cafeteria, he led me to the usual far table before sitting me down on the bench and rushing away, coming back with two trays and a cup of tea for the both of us. We ate in a comfortable silence, his hand now resting on my thigh as he sat beside me - the first time he'd done this, it was a messy attempt, but after several months of eating  with only one hand, he'd managed to become neater than most of the cadets, with not a single crumb falling. 

As soon as we finished eating, we grabbed our teacups , with me still being fascinated by how he held it by the rim, and we made our way to the rowdy table of the cadets. They greeted us with a wave or a brief 'hello', the table immediately silencing as Levi and I stood at the head of the table. The young scouts all turned their attention to us, and despite the fact that several of their members were now gone, their group was still as energetic as ever. Jean stared at us expectantly, almost as if he was wondering whether today's schedule would be the same as yesterday's was. 

"Cadets! We'll be doing the usual chores today before going on to training." A collective groan responded to Levi's words, but he ignored it. "Armin, Eren, Historia - you'll be on stable duty. Mikasa and Connie, check the 3DMG in the storage. Sasha and Jean, do the laundry. Report to my office as soon as you're done." Glancing over to make sure he didn't forget anyone, Levi dismissed the cadets, who hurriedly finished their food and ran off in separate directions to complete their daily chores. 

Once they were gone, I raised an eyebrow at Levi. "And what's today's reason for not assigning me any chores?" Although my tone was teasing, Levi could tell that it genuinely bothered me that the younger members of the squad had to work so hard while I did nothing. 

Levi just smiled and walked to the back of the kitchens where all the cleaning supplies were stored, grabbing two masks and putting one on before tossing me the other, which I caught with ease and quickly put on. He then grabbed a few rags from one of the bottom sections of the drawer, running them through the water and squeezing them out. He gave me one and we walked back to the cafeteria together, wiping off the tables and bringing the spare trays and dishes to the sinks. Even though several scouts were still eating in the cafeteria, by the time we'd gotten to their tables, they already finished. It only took us about twenty minutes to clean the entire room, and we smiled in relief as the spotless tables gleamed, the floor not having a single crumb on it.

Feeling rather accomplished, Levi and I returned the rags and washed the masks before hanging them up to dry, thoroughly washing our hands. I made sure to scrub extra well because I knew there'd be no way that Levi would hold my hand if it smelled even faintly like the rags, and my hand felt empty without his. The soap left a nice smell of vanilla, and it made me smile a little. It's funny how different Levi and I are. He's been through so much more than me, but he's still strong and can withstand anything. Me, on the other hand... I thought back to how pathetically broken I'd been when I first saw the wounds on my stomach. They'd faded slightly now, but the teeth marks were still, jutting across my waist in a permanent reminder of the mission. I can still be a lot stronger.

But there's the other side, too. How easily smiling comes to me, and how Levi only smiles when he genuinely means it. The pain that life has brought him took away his ability to smile freely. I shook my head, knowing that my thoughts were wrong. No. It took away his ability to fake a smile. It left him barren and empty, too scared to show how he feels because of the paranoia that even the smallest emotion would send him spiraling. The realization pained me, especially since the only thing I could do to help him was provide him with my comfort and unconditional love.

Levi glanced over to me from where he was drying his hands, somewhat confused by how intently I was staring at him. "Come on, let's get back to my office," he said with a tiny smile.  I'll cherish that smile forever. If only there was a way to capture it... The captain left the kitchens, standing in the now-empty cafeteria with one hand behind him as he looked over his shoulder, waiting for me to catch up. I placed my hand in his, the touch immediately comforting, and we walked to his office, fingers intertwined as our hands swung back and forth. 

Once inside, I made sure to firmly shut the door before turning to face Levi, unaware of how my lips immediately stretched into a smile as I admired him. I leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips before pulling away slightly, resting my forehead against his as our breath mingled. 

"Thank you for your smile," I whispered softly. "It means the world to me."