The Diary of Modern Cinderella

Chapter 4

Going to the art room after school has become a part of my daily routine regardless of my condition and my mood. Well, art is the only way I can use to express myself and forget about the misery I have back at home. It's the best way to keep me sane. And it's also the reason why I'm able to survive despite the prolonged abuse. Somehow, both sis and I are getting used to the abuse, though getting used to it sounds like we enjoy the abuse. Of course, we don't.

Every day, we're always hoping that the abuse will stop. We don't know how long we can last. We may already be reaching our limit before we realize it. The pain that I had back then is almost gone. But I experience the pain elsewhere instead. At least the pain that I have now won't hinder me from holding the brush. It's still painful, but I have to bear with it. I don't want any of the club members, especially Senior Miki, suspect that something must have happened to me.

I still can't forget what Izumi did to me back then. Well, how can I forget something so prominent? I've never experienced something like that in my entire life. And it's something that I don't expect from someone like him. I can't help but feel a bit embarrassed whenever I see him. I'm not sure what he thinks about me. I'd like to think that he likes me. But I never do anything that will make his heart skips a beat.

Izumi seems indifferent when he sees me, though. He doesn't look flustered at all whenever we make an eye contact. Did he forget about what he did to me back then? Maybe his action didn't mean anything at all to him. It was only a gesture to calm me down and to make myself feel better. It frustrates me a bit when I see him behaving like he always does. I must be delusional to have someone like him to like me.

"Morning, Izumi," I greet him as he enters the class and takes his seat. He looks sleepy, as always. "Morning," he replies. He doesn't say anything to me after that. I wish that I can turn to him and thank him for what he did. But I'm just too embarrassed to say it to him. I don't think that I have the courage to thank him, especially not in such condition I'm experiencing right now.

Even after a few days later, I still can't seem to forget what he did to me. And it doesn't help that I need to walk past by that area again whenever I have to go to the art room. I never see Izumi in this area anymore. What am I expecting, anyway? He's not going to use this path again to head to the gym. The gym itself is in the opposite direction. So, I don't think that we'll ever cross the path again.

No one is inside the art room when I arrive. I thought that I'm already late, considering that I have to walk slowly. I can't walk as fast as I used to be because of the bruises I have. I can feel the sharp pain whenever I move. It feels like someone is stabbing me in my leg. And it doesn't help that I can feel the pain even when I'm moving an inch. Despite the pain, I still have to pretend that I'm doing alright.

As I enter the art room, I realize that Ms. Miyu Takahama is already inside. She's currently observing one of the artworks created by the other club members. She insists the club members call her Ms. Miyu instead of her surname. She feels that it's much friendlier that way. As a club advisor, it's her responsibility to come here and observe the club activities once in a while. Unlike any other club advisors I know, Ms. Miyu's academic background has nothing to do with arts at all. She's teaching biology in class. But she also loves arts.

I can tell how much she loves arts by the way she explains any artworks that she loves. She can go in-depth when it comes to breaking down the components of great artwork. And the way she explains it isn't that different with how she explains things in her biology class. As much as I love arts, I have a problem with grasping her explanations. They're way too advanced for someone like me. Sure, her comments make my head spins. But I'd rather listen to her explanation than deriving a mathematical formula. I can do math just fine, but I prefer arts over math.