DEAD ASS LOVE! (Deadpool x Reader)(EDITING)

Complete embarrassment

                                                                                Deadpools POV

I smiled to myself as I make pancakes in my small apartment, I wonder if pancakes taste good with skittles.. hmmm- Well maybe I can try. I chuckle to myself and hum seeing that maybe I'll get better at cooking. I yawn and rub my eyes feeling the burn scars around it making me get reminded of all the shit That has happened to me when being a little lab rat for people who i thought might cure me of cancer. Oh well, I hear a loud Knock on my door making me flinch. Either it's a bad guy or the obese mailman who has a horrible habit of saying too much about his divorce. I walk up to the door and open it to see Colossus (if you haven't seen The Deadpool movie just look him up) I run up to him attempting to recreate those dramatic movies when the girl runs up to the man but it failed. He moves aside making me fall on my face. I groan and got up, I dusted my shirt and sweatpants and scoff. "How have You been, wade." He questioned with his strong Russian accent as I roll my eyes. "well other than being super awesome I am still trying to lea-" I got cut off with the smell of burning pancakes. I gasp and run to them attempting to save them... It was too late they were burnt. I glare at Colossus blaming him as he shook his head, "AS I WAS saying I'm still learning how to cook!" I say with anger showing him the Burnt pancakes. "Oh, I see, Anything else?" I stop and think for a bit, My eyes widen remembering the Chick That I met. "Oh, I know! Remember When people reported me of crashing into apartments on accident?" I stated proudly and he raised a brow at me, "Yes, I remember" He states as he walks around picking up the trash I leave. "I ended up crashing into hers which caused more damage than anyone else since it got bombed. I mean I felt pretty bad Because she looked like she had a horrible day. Though she was smoking hot!" I rush to the couch and Jump on it. His loud Walking came close to the couch, "Try being a gentlemen Do not Call women Hot, Treat he-" I cut him off, "BLAh bLAH blAH LoOk I'm CoLoSsUs I'm SO POLItE!" I mimic his Russian accent. I didn't want to get attached nor Love again Because of personal fears. If a hero or a Villain has something they love they always get it taken away from them. I say to myself as Colossus sighed, I walk up to my fridge to try again to make food but I see that All I have is just Ice Cream and beer. I groan not wanting to go to the grocery store, I sigh and Dismiss the fact that I have no food. The stupid Russian X-Men Spoke up again, "You need to do Some grocery shopping." He stated harshly, I groan not wanting to do anything as I lay face flat on the couch. He threw Shoes at me attempting to get ready. I whine like a child into the pillow on my couch, I got up and grabbed a hoodie to wear. I put up the hood under my head not wanting too much attention, People here can be actual assholes and stare at me like I'm some sort of deformed- okay never mind I am pretty burnt and ugly but THAT still doesn't make it okay. I put the shoes on and got up, I wondered if they had any sales so far. I got up and looked at Colossus slowly, I sighed and I followed up by him walking out of the apartment.

Time skip

I was grabbing the shopping cart while Colossus greeted the lady who said welcome, I always noticed how the big dude was so polite. It was annoying too since He even stopped a fight because one of the villain's boob popped out. I'm not even joking too it was very sad just to see his ass get kicked afterward. I was walking around until I saw the aisle I was looking for, I walk down keeping a low profile. I noticed a familiar voice, I looked over my shoulder seeing The same chick that I crashed into. My eyes widen as I notice she slowly looked over to me, I look down at the pickle jar and I noticed she took the last Oreo packet which I wanted. Why now and why today!?!? I hate it here sometimes... I really was fucking craving those Oreos- I noticed she was talking on the phone. I slowly listen closely pretending to look at the stuff on the shelf. "yeah mom it's okay, I'll figure it out I promise... I guess so I know I don't have much money but Ill figure it out as I said." She continued to reassure her mom I assumed. I felt a bit of guilt yet I mean she said she'll figure it out so it's not a big deal. I heard Colossus's big footsteps and I freeze knowing she'll wonder why the FUCK there is an iron giant. I slowly panic and walk the aisle. He looks at me in confusion and spoke up loudly. 

"why are you hiding wade?" His loud Russian accent made people stare over at us. I facepalm knowing this man will ruin it. "Shh... The chick-"I get cut off, "WHaT?" his voice echoed through the store. "The girl I crashed into!! remember?!!" whisper scream at him trying to remind him. He gave an "oh" look and looked back to where she is, I sigh in annoyance. I didn't feel like showing my face I just wanted to go home and relax. I snap back to reality realizing Colossus wasn't in front of me instead he was WALKING towards the girl. I tried to hold him back but his iron self didn't allow me to. She looked up to the man and her eyes widen realizing how huge he was. I groan and pull the strings on my hoodie, I slowly made myself walk away before she can realize I was there. I didn't care at this point I'm too tired, I hummed and saw the stuff I needed. I wondered if I can actually have a good night's rest! that would be actually wonderful considering the fact that I NEVER HAVE A FUCKING BREAK! It's so hard being this awesome and great yet sometimes I wish I can evaporate too.

I look over to find some fruits, Yes I like fruits. My favorite is strawberry come to think of it fruits are actually very tasty! I heard Colossus talking to the girl, I didn't really know but I'm pretty sure he is apologizing for my actions and talking shit about me at this point. I roll my eyes and keep looking around for some more groceries. I look over to my right to see a couple, They were giggling and laughing as they talked about plans or vacations. My heart began to ache, Sometimes I hate the fact that I could never experience that EVER again. I mumble to myself making my way down the aisle Full of chips and stuff. I wonder if they have my favorite type. My mind began to be curious about what he was saying too. Maybe he finally left and is trying to look for me. I begin to walk around searching for the Huge idiot but notice he wasn't there, I gasp in betrayal not knowing where he went. HOW DARE HE LEAVE ME HERE! I COULD GET KIDNAPPED ANY SECOND! I growled and picked out some more stuff to buy, Afterwards, finally, I went to go pay for my stuff. The man who scanned my items looked at me with a raised judge brow, I flip him off making the same judgy glare back at him. "your total is 258, Do you want to donate to the kids who suffer from cancer down the road where they are in need of food and water?" he asked, My face drops down realizing of HOW MUCH money it was to Buy groceries. I soon gasped and pointed behind him, "LOOK THE AVENGERS!" he quickly turned around looking at the direction I pointed at. I smirked and grabbed all the groceries and stuffed 30 dollars into the donation box thing for the kiddos, Im not THAT mean. I myself was in stage 4 cancer before all this mumble-jumble shit happened to me. I ran out of the store snickering to myself, I still wondered where Colossus went. I also wondered where the chick went too, I shook off the thoughts and walked down the sidewalk to where my apartment was. It wasn't so far though so I could deal with it. I look at my adventure time watch seeing it was 2:10 pm. I wandered off around the sidewalk quietly attempting to keep my head down. What a day and what a fucking BITCH Colossus was... I finally arrive home and soon got a call from Weasel hearing some bounty who was causing trouble for others. I sigh and Put away the groceries as he kept on speaking. I soon hung up and got dressed in my suit while packing the weapons I needed. I open my window and soon jump down to locate my bounty and finish my job.