Reasons

Part 1

Some people go through life feeling nothing, while most people go through life feeling something. I go through life feeling everything.

Tilting her head to the side, Ava wonders if perhaps she should have used more shades of blue. Although it is a mural saluting the variety of military, the vast about of red in the background gives it the feeling of honoring war and death. She had been trying to give it a calming effect to those who look at it, but now she fears that it will make them angry or prideful. She does not like war, but she honors those who chose to fight, regardless. After all, her brother is a soldier, and with it comes the pride of knowing he chose to follow his dreams. However, she also knows the horrors of reality as she has had to help her brother with terrors that plague him every minute of the day. When Dylan was sent home, he was angry at the world for losing not only a part of his left arm but also his dream. He lived with Ava while he recovered, and even though it has been three years since he moved out, she can still hear him screaming from night-terrors. He is not the only one she has helped, and even though everyone experiences PTSS and depression differently, somehow, their screams are always the same. Everyone always wonders why she has headphones on. Music is the only thing that drowns out those screams, just as painting is the only thing that keeps her mind clear of the horrors of seeing people suffer.

"Forget about it!" Jessica yells into her ear and thumps her padded headphone back against her ear. Ava fights a loud curse, knowing she is in a crowded room, and just stares at her best friends in horror.

"It is too late to change anything now." Hazel shrugs with a deadpan glance at Ava. "It is done, get over it." She chugs the last of whatever is in her drink.

"Don't you think it is too...war?" Ava questions, while shaking her head and studying the mural again. The town hall holds several exhibitions in a year, but this is the first time a permanent entry will be left. The mural, honoring no specific residents of the town, will be a reminder of the sacrifices people made. With the main exhibit hall housing photos and artistry from local and state military, Ava's recent masterpiece runs the length of the hallway leading to the exhibit.

"Is it just me..." Hazel starts with an odd, studying sort of expression at her mural. "Or does that portrait look strikingly similar to your brother? You know the mayor didn't want anyone specifically painted, as to not cause an argument of who should be in the painting." Hazel's dark eyes slide to Ava with a smirk.

Ava takes a drink from her bottle of water and then shrugs while putting the cap back on. "Now, Hazel. I am not one to go against authority." Ava remarks in sarcasm with a fake pride holding her chin up. "This figure here has blonde hair and blue eyes, and we all know my brother has brown hair and brown eyes."

"Still..." Jessica stares at the same figure as well. There were many people painted into the mural, and not just from the branches of the military, but also police, doctors, and even a teacher. Ava tries hard not to smile at her friends. She knows exactly what she did, but she will defend it to the grave to avoid getting into trouble for it.

"How is wedding planning going?" Ava averts the subject and turns away from the mural. There is only so long she can stare at it before she finds more mistakes. She pulls off her headphones, and stuffs them into her shoulder bag, knowing that for the moment, she might be able to bear not wearing them.

Hazel makes a frustrated sound with her head tilted back. If she had not finished her drink a moment ago, she would have now. "Why does your brother does not have any opinions about the wedding?" Hazel questions with a glare at Ava, as though she convinced her brother to be quiet.