THE BROTHERS | NCT BXB

4: Initiation

Warning: Generally Unhinged Behaviour. This fic will only get worse in some aspects, so if you need to back out before or after this chapter, I completely understand. This does not represent the boys in real life, and I will clarify now that there will be no Taeyong death nor full blown sexual non-con. Thank you.

8 MONTHS AGO

Taeyong's heart hammered in his chest, breath catching in his throat as he took another step forward in the depleting line of people ahead of him.

It had grown dark, and the dock was already blanketed in the warm evening air, but it felt cold on his skin - a shiver running down the edges of his spine and tingly feeling buzzing underneath his dry palms. But he had washed them hours before the taxi had taken him to the dock, and then he had washed them again after he arrived, afraid that, somehow, they'd see the damning grime on his hands. Like they'd see what he'd done and punish him. Like they'd grab him by the hair and pull him underneath the ship and drown him because that was the death he deserved.

The chatter around him was dull, more so now that he was alone. Hanging off of Minjae's arms had taught him how to tune into others' conversations, how to listen and nod when he was given the cue and without having to be told. The affinity to eavesdrop came easily, but as the line moved up and the voices ahead and behind of him grew more excited, he found he couldn't listen to them. He couldn't distract his running mind, nor put a boulder-sized rock in the path of the cogged wheels in his head to stop them from turning.

The scent of the sea had soured before his departure because now, to him, the water had been tainted. The ocean breeze tasted rancid in the air, and a distinct scent of chlorine clogged his nose. His bones tightened as he took another step forward to the ticket collector with his single bag of luggage in tow. The man was dressed in a fine suit and had slicked back hair. And when it was Taeyong's turn in line, he looked down on him like they all did - like Taeyong was the gum underneath their shoes. He stuck out like a sore thumb, and the way his hands trembled as he gave the man his ticket caused the collector to stare at him for a beat too long - eyes falling from his legs, to his torso, to his gaunt face and the lost look in his eyes.

He looked like a man on the brink of ruin.

"This is a ticket for two. A couples ticket." The ticket collector paused, eyes flickering from the golden sheet to Taeyong again, and Taeyong could only pray that he couldn't hear the loud thumping of his heart. But he could. He could hear it cracking in his ears. He could hear it begging to be let free from the monster that'd kept it trapped - a monster whose heart didn't deserve to beat.

"Your partner?" The man cocked his head.

"Alone." Taeyong's mouth felt dry as he spoke. Dry and tart, like he had swallowed a block of soap, and the back of his throat had become raw and scratchy from the chemicals. "I'm alone."

There was another pause, and the chatter silenced as they stopped to stare at him, like they all knew he didn't belong. He didn't fit in. Not dressed as he was and never without Minjae. The man studied him with a critical glare, and Taeyong steeled himself instead of averting his eyes because only guilty men had something to hide. But it was as if he knew - like the eyes that were carving holes into the front of his head knew - and yet, he smiled, courteous. He handed Taeyong his ticket and turned back to the men helping people enter the cruise ship.

"Let him in."

PRESENT DAY