sugar & spice

chapter eight

All break, her lips burned with the ghost of Theo's kiss, but her chest burned worse.

Shame? Check.

Being an awful friend? Well, she certainly felt like a terrible friend no matter what Theo had said. So, check there, too.

Nothing would ever happen? Er...

She'd almost kissed Draco. Theo had kissed her. Something had happened, something big and altering and it didn't make sense. Worse, it wasn't something she could find the answer to in a book or even discuss with her friends as they caught up on the last few months, all of them spending the holidays at the Burrow. No, Ron and Harry and Ginny were suspicious enough of her new friendship with Draco and Theo that she wasn't about to tell them about this-whatever this was. She was one hundred percent on her own on this one.

Brightest witch of her age, her arse.

***

The end of Christmas break and the return to Hogwarts came much too soon. Before she knew it, she was back in the castle, treading the familiar path to the library.

Theo had stopped by her table at lunch, asking if they were still on to meet after dinner, per usual for their group project. He'd been rather nonchalant, one thumb tucked casually in his pocket as he stood over her shoulder. Nothing about his countenance or his behavior had hinted at what had happened before the holidays. The look in his eyes might've told a different story, but she'd carefully avoided eye contact, staring instead at his ear as she nodded an affirmative because despite her reluctance, she had no excuse to skip out on their scheduled sessions, the first of the term no less.

So how was she to play this? Casual, like nothing had happened? No, she was a terrible actress and a worse liar so that was out. Apologizing again would probably not go over well, considering how Theo had reacted in the corridor.

She took a deep breath and crossed over the threshold into the library. She'd play it by ear and let them take the reins. She'd be quiet and focus on their project and maybe one day they would forget this whole thing had ever happened and they could go back to how things had been before she'd messed everything up. Maybe not a perfect plan, but it was an imperfect situation she'd landed herself in. It would have to do.

Theo and Draco were already at the table, which figured. She was a bit late, having paced outside the library for several moments. At the sound of her approach, they looked up.

"Evening, Hermione," Theo greeted with a placid smile. "Happy New Year."

Draco simply nodded at her before going back to whatever it was he was reading. Nodded at her rather tersely, actually, and he hadn't looked her in the eye. Her heart sank into her stomach.

All along she'd been anticipating Theo's ire, his displeasure at having caught her and Draco about to kiss. This, Draco barely being able to look at her, had not been something she'd accounted for. It wasn't something she could stomach, not when they'd only just put the past behind them. Things between them had been good and now...

She needed a moment.

She dropped her bag into her chair to show that she wasn't running off, not permanently at least. "I'll be right back."

Though she didn't run, she did hurry, unwilling to be caught by someone looking to chat. She headed straight for the ladies' room and upon entering, made a beeline for the sink where she ran the water as cold as she could and let it run over her wrists, cooling her down.

New plan. She'd go back into the library, steel herself, make Draco look her in the eye, and tell him she was sorry. Clearly Theo was wrong and didn't speak for Draco's wishes because he hadn't looked so uncomfortable since that first night in the library when they'd cleared the air.