scars || sirius black

43 - the right choice

Mary and Alice were there, that was all she could discern from the flashing lights and warped noises. She could hear their voices and feel Mary's hand gently brushing back her hair from her forehead. It was peaceful, all so peaceful.

The next time she woke up she was alone. She lay awake for some time, no energy or motivation to move. It would be so much easier, she thought, if she could just stay here forever. But the sound of someone drawing nearer came all too soon. It was Lily this time, and Dorcas a few steps behind. They jumped when they realised she was awake and looking up at them.

"Hey, how're you doing?" Lily asked gently as they sat down. She took her hands and squeezed them gently.

"Not so good, Lils."

They exchanged uneasy glances, Emmy wasn't usually so forthcoming with her pain-levels, it really must be bad.

Dory stood up, "I'm going to go find Madam Pomfrey."

Emmy waved her thanks and turned to look at the red head again.

"Has Sirius been here?"

Lily paused before reply, "No, he hasn't. I-I spoke to him just after James took you up to the hospital wing... I think I might have convinced him to give you a bit of space, at least for a little while."

Tears came to Emmy's eyes and her lips quivered before she said quietly, "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Relief washed over her in calming waves. She was safe, and Sirius would be too one day, as long as he didn't have to worry about her.

—————

Remus came by as soon as he heard she was awake. He greeted her with a relieved smile and embraced her in a fierce hug.

"Will you lay down with me?" she asked awkwardly. He grinned and moved next to her, tucking her into the crook of his shoulder and pulling her close.

"It's so quiet," he murmured after a while. They were both thinking it, how after every full moon that ended in the hospital wing, James, Peter and Sirius would be there to cheer them up, making their usual racket.

Emmy sniffed, tears stinging her eyes. He turned quickly to look at her, concern lacing his confused face.

"Do you think I made the right decision?" she mumbled.

"About Sirius?"

She nodded and searched his face desperately for an answer.

He sighed and kissed her forehead gently.

"I don't think I could answer that if I tried."

"Please?"

"Well, it's much safer than you two being together..."

She breathed a sigh of relief, at least he agreed with her in part.

"But you're breaking his heart. And I'm pretty sure it's breaking yours too."

"My heart is perfectly fine, thank you," she reassured him defensively.

"Is it?"

She didn't, couldn't reply. In truth, her heart was breaking so sharply it felt like it was shattering into a million pieces.

—————

Almost a week later, she was back in the Gryffindor tower. The girls had barely left her side for more than a minute, so she was glad to have some time alone walking back to the dorm after the first year DADA class she'd been helping Dumbledore with.