86. Paris Wills, Age 16, October 24, 2019

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The afternoon sun paints a mellow melding of pink and honey over the horizon. I lay on the soft grass, running my free fingertips along the deep green bristles. Done with Pride & Prejudice, I've started reading On the Road, which Sabina recommended. It's one of her favorites, a cherished copy passed down from her uncle. To my right, Sabina's breezing through my copy of The Great Gatsby, even though she's already read it twice, and André is sitting in between us. He's not much of a reader, but he enjoys being in our company. Our presence takes his mind out of the darkness and reminds him that he's not alone.

Occasionally, André looks over at me and I smile, a silent assurance that I'm here for him. Sabina brushes her fingers across André's, her touch softening him. After yesterday's kiss, the high school sweethearts are taking things slow until they leave Neo.

Nevertheless, the three of us together feels absolutely marvelous. For once, I don't feel so alone and isolated. I have so many people looking out for me - Sabina, André, Gray, Nessie, Dr. Cole. It's strange and unfamiliar but extraordinary at the same time.

Closing her book, Sabina turns to us and I set my book aside. André focuses his attention on her and she laces her fingers in his, squeezing tight.

"I have some news."

Sabina's voice is laced with hesitation, and I sit up, unprepared for what she's about to say.

"Today, Dr. Cole cleared me to leave Neo."

Dread overcomes André's face. His crystal blue eyes glaze over and his lips slightly quiver. Tears threaten to break from his eyes, but he bites them back before they have the chance. Despite André's reservations, he faithfully grips Sabina's hand even tighter.

"That's wonderful news!" I exclaim, breaking the sour silence that's overcome us.

"Yeah," Sabina nods, "it is. I was unsure about leaving Neo now, but Dr. Cole assuaged my reservations. She says I've made remarkable improvements in the three weeks I've been here, and I agree with her. I haven't felt this at peace with myself, my body, my mind in a while."

Before we can reply, Sabina adds, "I just don't want to leave you guys behind."

Sabina's addition is directed mostly at André, but we'll both miss her dearly. Prior to today, I never considered how it would feel once we all went our separate ways. Will we remain in contact with each other? Will we see each other again? A part of me wishes Sabina wasn't leaving just yet. Then, I wouldn't have to worry about all the questions running through my mind. Except, I couldn't live with myself if I held her back. Friends don't hold friends back. They give them space to fly.

"Don't worry about us. We'll be fine," André chimes in, trying his best to remain calm. André also understands that we can't stay at Neo for forever. Soon, I'll leave too, and so will he. We'll return to the real world; depart from the limbo we're in now.

Sabina outstretches her free hand to us. There's two slivers of paper on her palm, and André and I each take one. On it is Sabina's cell phone number.

"I'll never forget you guys. Before I came to Neo, I didn't have any friends. It was tough, braving the world alone. But now I have both of you, and I'm not letting you go."

We all come together in a warm embrace and rest there. It's one of the last times we'll all be able to hold each other for who knows how long.

Afterward, as the last rays of sun sink into the cerulean ocean waves, the three of us sprawl out on the grass and overlook the twilight. Sabina describes the road trip her and her uncle plan to take. Tomorrow, she's moving out of Neo, and then the next day they'll start their sightseeing journey across country. Neither Sabina or her uncle have much of a plan. They're just going to glide along the road; maybe stop and tour a few colleges. Prior to coming to Neo, Sabina's uncle homeschooled her, and he'll continue to while they traverse the countryside.

"Maybe we could all take a road trip sometime," André suggests, his lips curling with excitement.

It sounds like a dream; driving under the clouds and casting midnight glances at the sweeping desert landscape. I picture Gray behind the wheel, my head resting on his shoulder. Sabina's legs lounging on André's lap in the backseat. The four of us experiencing complete bliss. All the bad drowned out by riveting conversation and endless melodies piping through the speakers.

We drive for days, taking spontaneous diversions to outrageous landmarks and checking into motels off the beaten path. Eventually, we make it to New York City, meet up with Gray's friends, and the six of us explore the spectacular sights together.

It's a brilliant plan. I long for the day when we can make it come true.

Until then, we're left to peer at the dazzling night sky. Celestial bodies swirl over us, dancing around our heads in their glorious beauty, shining like beacons of truth. The Universe's deepest secrets are written in the stars, and our friendship must be emblazoned in bold on each and every sparkling star. 

 

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