Kageyama Oneshots ✔

Depression

"Has anyone else noticed how quiet Kageyama has been today?" Asahi asked when he, Noya and Daichi were chatting during practise.

"It's really weird! He's not shouted at Hinata or argued with Tsukishima once!" Noya exclaimed.

"I'll keep an eye on him and ask him if he's alright later."

The oddly- and practically, unnervingly- quiet practise continued and at last it was the beginning of the evening when they were cleaning up the gym. Kageyama was going to take down the net with Yamaguchi but Daichi called him to have a chat outside. He nodded and asked Ennoshita if he could do it instead before following the captain.

"What did you want to talk about?" the setter asked as they sat on the steps outside.

"You were really quiet today, I wanted to ask if there was something wrong? Anything bothering you?"

"Quiet? Oh, I didn't really notice. Practise went too fast."

"Oh?"

"Hm, should I be louder?" Kageyama asked.

Daichi laughed a little and said it was fine for Kageyama to express himself however he saw fit, but that if there was an issue for the first year to speak to him or their coaches. The setter nodded and Daichi stood up to head back inside, not failing to hear the long and heavy sigh Kageyama released when he turned his back.

As the weeks went on, the team noticed that Kageyama would go through periods of complete silence. His game never faltered and he was as scarily accurate as ever, yet sometimes they wouldn't hear him speak for days. His face would always be one that was void of expression, and when it did show expression it wasn't one of happiness.

There were also days where he would avoid all of them: avoiding them in corridors, avoid conversation during practise, refusing offers to hang out, or- but only once- skipping practise. Fortunately they weren't the only ones who noticed this pattern. Ukai and Takeda did too.

One day, when Kageyama had been distant and quiet, Hinata joined him for lunch in the classroom, sitting beside him and chattering away; not to engage conversation but to distract the setter from whatever was going on in his head. His eyes were dull and distant. Hinata didn't like it one bit. 

So, when their lessons had ended he took hold of Kageyama's hand and didn't let go once, dragging him all the way to their clubroom to practise. But Kageyama wasn't planning on going to practise that day- his six day long migraine refusing to go away- so he could only sit in the corner and look into thin air, his mind far away where none of them could reach.

Their coaches attempted conversation once or twice but it never lasted more than one or two sentences, single word answers, or chains of sighs. The team couldn't focus on practise properly and so, when they took a break, Hinata went over and sat next to the setter.

He saw Kageyama hadn't even noticed he was there and so grabbed one of his perfect hands, entwining their fingers and giving it a light squeeze. Kageyama jumped slightly and pulled his hand away, not liking the contact.

"Holding hands is a good way to comfort someone who doesn't want to talk." the ginger explained.

The setter gave him a raised brow before sighing and turning away. When Hinata tried to hold his hand again, Kageyama didn't pull away; he took it as a sign that he was okay and began to talk about a bunch of random nonsense in hopes of distracting Kageyama and bringing a smile onto his face.

No-one had seen him with one in a while. They really missed it...

The team were getting ready to sleep after a day of training camp, yet just when Daichi was going to turn the lights off Kageyama sat up and swore. This caused several worried and annoyed faces to turn his way and he apologised before getting up and heading over to his things. 

He pulled out one of his bags and unzipped it, proceeding to take out at least five different bottles that rattled loudly in the quiet air. He put the bag back away and was about to head into the bathroom when Suga stopped him.

"Kageyama, what's in those bottles?"

The setter looked at him with mixed emotions before sighing and sitting back down, putting the bottles out in a row.

"These are for anxiety, these are for insomnia, these are for depression, these are for migraines, these are for vitamins, these are for, um... oh, right. These are for memory loss, short-term. These are for..."

He ended up listing about eight different types of drugs and what he took them for. Then, once he had finished explaining, he took a pill or two out of the bottles and put them away before heading into the bathroom to down them with water. 

When the bathroom door slid shut, the team all shared quite horrified expressions.

"He suffers from all of that?" Noya asked in shock.

"It explains so much of his behaviour on his off days." 

"But why wouldn't he tell us?"

"It's probably not a nice conversation to have." guessed Asahi. "And then comes all the questions."

"It's not a nice conversation to have." Kageyama agreed when he exited the bathroom, the team's faces blushing from being caught. "It's not great when you have to say 'Hey I suffer from a ton of mental issues but let me tell you about them and you can ask all sorts of invasive questions about my childhood then treat me differently in fear of setting me off' but I'm sure it's such a delight to some people."

The setter made sure all of his things were away before lying back down in his futon and smushing his face into his pillow, groaning quietly before pulling the covers over his head. That conversation was closed.

Everyone shared looks before settling down once more- Daichi turning the lights off- yet they couldn't rest. Their minds thought of all different reasons why Kageyama needed to take all those pills; none of them were great. But they all held resolve too: they would be there for Kageyama if he asked for it and needed it. Then, maybe one day, slowly, he could stop taking all those pills. 

It was a nice thought. Then maybe he would start smiling again. They really did miss it...