The linoleum steps have become a familiar place. The dotted specs across the pale flooring coming to light as the sun rose from the horizon beyond the vast campus. It was a beautiful sight to behold: the various colors that shone through the scattered clouds. Basking upon the warmth that thawed their cold nights, Despair knew that it, indeed, was beautiful; however, God probably didn't like them because they were never to see it.
What type of luck would they have to be this unfortunate? They had no answer to that. Despair is blind, both to vision and the answer. Despair knew of many things beyond the gates because of Hope. At the thought of Hope, their antennas buzzed. Hope was everything Despair wasn't. They were an adventurous roach who took every chance they had to explore what the world had to offer — something Despair they knew they'd never do because they don't want to be a burden on Hope.
Even though they couldn't see, they still wanted to experience the world Hope gushed about again. They've left the gates once only to arrive at another, but the memory of the journey there was one Despair desperately tried to hold onto. They wanted to feel the chilly breeze, the rough concrete, the morning dew at the break of dawn, and whatever else they're both yet to discover.
Despair now only knew the linoleum floors, the memory of the concrete they once ran on as they and Hope escaped their stifling roach community of Faunce House starting to fade. Despair shook their head. They didn't want to remember the atrocities they and Hope had to endure there, but their wishes fell to deaf ears. As the haunting screeches of the roaches they once called family raced through their head, Despair curled up pathetically in an attempt to fend those voices away.
It was a routine as familiar as the walls that Despair knew awfully well, but never saw. Despair knew everything they said is right. They are useless. They are an extra load. They are a burden. How could they not be right when they couldn't scavenge with the other roaches? How could they not be right when their own parents said those things? How could they not be right when they put Hope in danger on their Faunce escape? They couldn't fight the facts, but they were thankful they're no longer a nagging reminder of their present and future: only their past. A past that wouldn't have been bearable if it weren't for Hope.
It's always Hope, they thought.
The mere thought of them brings comfort to Despair that no other roach could. Hope always talked about the perilous adventures they've been on ever since their safe arrival at Hope College, but Despair never found themselves at unease. Hope loved the world for its thrills and adventures. They loved it recklessly. The world was dangerous, and both of them knew that. But it was also beautiful, and Despair knew that. Hope told them of that beauty every time they returned. They told Despair of everything they saw, and, surprisingly, Despair didn't find themselves feeling loss. Hope saw many things and loved them, but Despair wasn't as greedy. Despair needn't see beyond the gates to see their world. If God suddenly let them see the world, they knew they'd see Hope gazing at the heavens in wonder. Even though they knew they could never compete with the world beyond the gates, Despair loved Hope.
Despair shook at the realization. They love Hope. Despair never thought they'd admit it to themselves, but here they are curled up on the floor and dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions as intense as their battering heartbeat. But now, their heart beat for a different reason. It was no longer fear, but an overwhelming anxiousness. Despair knew they could never hide anything from Hope, so this knowledge will be both of theirs sooner if not later. Sighing, Despair rose from their position and smiled to themselves. They loved Hope, and they were going to tell them exactly that.
Crawling away from the sun's warmth that enveloped them, Despair felt their way around with their antennas until they found themselves at the foot of Hope College's gates. It was the routine as familiar as the walls Despair knew awfully well, but never saw; however, this was their favorite part. Around this time, Hope usually returns quite exhausted but beaming with the afterglow of an adventure. Despair couldn't see their smile but knew it looked beautiful and couldn't wait to feel it through Hope's words.
