House of the Rising Son

Chapter 32

Mae was surprisingly calm, really just dazed, as she descended the stairs from Wendy's apartment and drove home. The sun was just setting; Kenny and Ellie were playing in the neighbor's yard waiting for her. She smiled, thanked the woman for baby-sitting and shuffled the children in without saying much of anything. At that point, her head was still a cloudy, confused mess. What she had done, or at least been a part of, didn't really hit her until she fed the children and shuffled up the steps to the bedroom. Looking at her reflection, Mae broke down, disgusted by who she saw staring back at her.

"What did I do?" She began obsessively picking at her vein, the sound of Opie's heavy boots drowned out by her cries.

Hearing her from the top of the stairs, Opie rushed into their bedroom to find her curled up on the bed, her face buried in his pillow. "Mae, what's wrong?" He asked in a panic.

"Casey, the woman from NA," she choked the words out, "It was Wendy." His body relaxed, shoulders slumping, in a mix of relief and disappointment. "I didn't know." She wailed, seeing the look on his face. If there was anyone who could make sense of it, make her feel better, she was sure it was Opie.

"Okay, it's okay, we'll fix it." He sat beside her, his large hands stroking down her arm. "Everything is going to be fine. I promise."

"Gemma fixed it." She said into the pillow. "We had a plan Ope, we were going to get Wendy arrested, ruin her chances for visitation but Gemma, she went too far."

More concerned with Mae keeping calm than what Gemma could have done to Wendy, he lifted her to lean against him, her tears soaking into his shirt instead of the pillow. "Alright, Mae, honey, just breathe. You have to calm down, please. It's all going to be fine, I love you."

"I don't know who I am." She muttered, the crying stopped as she looked up at him with pure confusion in her eyes. "I never thought I was a bad person. I never hurt anyone before."

"What happened?" Opie asked suddenly much more interested if only because of what Gemma's actions were doing to her now. Her words frightened and enraged him. Opie didn't care whose mother she was, Gemma was hearing all about this. "Mae, what did Gem make you do?"

Shaking her head, she pulled away from him. Mae despised herself, felt unworthy of Opie despite his list of kills and crimes. "She didn't make me do anything. She had a plan, but she just didn't tell me what it really was. She lied, but I still did it; I didn't say no. Jesus, Ope, what happened to me? I'm supposed to help people."

"Mae." Opie snapped, grabbing her face to force eye contact. "What happened?"

The shock from his little outburst cleared her head and Mae nodded. "The plan was supposed to be that I got Gem some heroin, just a balloon, one hit. She was going to set Wendy up, get her arrested, but she didn't. She fucking dosed her, Ope, she drugged her and had me come see it. I walked in and I just," she broke down. "What did I do to her?" She spoke in a whisper now, searching within herself for clarity. "I didn't help her; I just covered my own ass. All she wanted was to see her baby."

There was so much going on in those few sentences Opie had to replay them in his mind. "Gemma's plan was to have you buy heroin and set up Wendy?" He spoke slowly hoping for clarity for both of them.

"No." She sobbed. "That's what she said it was and I was okay with that, but Ope," she buried her face in his chest. "What if someone did that to me again? Weston did that and now I did it."

"No one will ever do that to you, Maelynn. No one's going to hurt you. You didn't do anything wrong, not to Wendy, she knew what she was doing. Dosing her is on Gemma and not on you." Unsure how to feel, Opie didn't say anything else and stroked her hair. He was furious with both of them, but he knew firsthand how dangerous and manipulative Gemma could be. She could sense his anger; Mae could feel it and that made her hate herself even more.