Changing Reality

Prologue

Reality is an illusion. The universe is a hologram. Buy gold, bye!-Bill Cipher 

A triangular statue sits in the middle of the woods, with its hand outstretched as if waiting for someone to come along and shake it. That statue is me, Bill Cipher, the greatest triangle who ever lived. I guess you're wondering how I wound myself up in this sticky little situation. Well, sit right down and I will tell you a little story about my unfortunate tale.

I see now that my fate could have been avoided if I hadn't made a few simple mistakes. No one is perfect, not even me. A few years ago, I had succeeded in starting an apocalypse which I called Weirdmageddon. It was a total blast and a wonder to behold. Weirdness was spread all throughout the little hick town of Gravity Falls, Oregon. There were beasts of all shapes and sizes roaming the streets and inanimate objects that had come alive. 

But every party unfortunately has to come to an end. My usual Weirdmageddons last a couple hundred years and then I get bored, turn everything back to normal and move on to someplace else. This Weirdmageddon didn't happen that way, though. I was tricked by a family known as the Pines or as I like to call them Pine Tree, Shooting Star, Fez and Sixer. This family was far from ordinary. Them together with several others made up my Zodiac, a collective power designed to be my downfall.

I have been to several thousand realities, all of which has its own version of my Zodiac. This version of my Zodiac was the most intelligent I had seen in quite a long time. But enough about that bunch. Lets get back to talking about me and my tragic story. My Weirdmageddon was in full swing but it wouldn't last for very long. I had the whole town under my control but I wanted more. I wanted the whole world to kneel before me. It wouldn't be as easy as that unfortunately. Gravity Falls was no ordinary town. It was a place with weirdness magnetism which means weird things were attracted to the town. There was also a barrier around the town that was keeping me and my friends from leaving. But I knew there was a way to bring that barrier crumbling down.

I knew there was an equation that could be used to collapse the barrier and I knew just the person who could give the equation to me. Sixer, the genius that he is, had figured it out. Me and Sixer had been best buds once upon a time so I figured he would tell me the equation. No such luck. He refused to give me the equation. Can you believe that? After all I did for him and he flat out refuses to give me the equation to bring down the barrier around the town. That meant I had to take matters into my own hands. A little torture never hurt anyone right? Sixer was tougher than he looked though. No matter how much I tortured him he refused to budge on giving me the equation. But every mortal man has his weakness and I was determined to figure out what his was.

Fortunately for me, it wasn't difficult at all for me to figure out what his weakness was. He had a soft spot for his great niece and nephew, Dipper and Mabel. All I had to do was threaten their precious little lives and he jumped at the chance to make a deal with me, spare their lives and in return he give me the equation. But I realized too late that I had been duped. While I was off chasing Pine Tree and Shooting Star, Sixer and Fez switched clothes.

I realize now that I should of looked at the hand that I was shaking. Curse me and my overeager tendencies. I was in such a hurry to get that equation that I didn't even notice the wool that had been pulled over my eye. When I went into what I thought was Sixer's mind, I realized it wasn't Sixer at all but Fez who I had shaken hands with. I attempted to escape but it was in vain.

I was trapped with no way out. While I was in the mind of Fez, Sixer was gearing up a memory wipe gun that he intended to use. I begged and pleaded with Fez to let me out, that I would give him anything, but my pleas fell on deaf ears. He wasn't so easily convinced. I had lost... I had no escape. Sixer blasted Fez with the memory gun with me still inside his mind, in an attempt to kill me. I thought it was the end for me.

The blast from the memory gun caused Fez' mind to catch fire with blue flames. I could feel the flames licking at me. I didn't want to die. I did the only thing I could think of to give myself even the smallest chance of survival. I called upon the Axolotl. Who is the Axolotl, you ask? Well, he's almost like God for my world. I realize now that calling upon the Axolotl was the stupidest thing I could of done because not only did I wind up stuck in this stupid fucking statue but there were so many other consequences that I was unaware that were to come.

Oh, you're still here? Wonderful. So that's how I got stuck in this statue. Tragic isn't it? Oh but don't worry I'll be getting out of here any time now and I'll have big plans ready when I do. What plans you ask? Oh don't worry too much about that. Just know it'll be a blast... Oh that's my cue. I have a summons. Let's get things on the road shall we?

The woods fall silent as I leave my statue to answer the summons. Where did I go? Why don't you come along?

The story begins...