Chapter 1

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I took a deep breath and move behind Dusan to shield myself from what was going to happen next. I'd lost my bloody mind. How else could I explain this insanity? Seeing him was going to wreck me.

And he ... well, he was not going to be happy.

Holding my breath as I waited for the door to open, I felt Dusan's intense gaze. Looking at him was only going to break my resolve to see this through so I chanted through words in my mind to keep myself from breaking. Dusan muttered something under his breath and I looked up just when the door opened.

My breath caught in my throat. Oh my fucking god. It'd been years since I had seen him.

Keir.

The only person to have had my heart, which he had left behind bleeding while he walked away without turning back. Again, I ask the universe... why me? Nothing in the world could have prepared me for this, for him, for the unshed tears in his eyes, the lines of pain radiating and hitting me all at once. How could someone so broken, and in agony look so beautiful? Was that even possible?

Dusan had moved and was now hugging his best friend while I stood there feeling like I was going to snap. Keir murmured something and shifted aside when he finally noticed me. All that agony that I felt had felt a moment ago was now gone, replaced with a burning fire that could only be described as hate - hate towards me.

I couldn't breathe and started to see black spots in front of my eyes. I felt my hands move and realised I was shaking from... I had no idea ... what?

"I'll give you two a minute." Dusan stepped inside the apartment and turned back to look at me, "Tala, I'll see you inside". I was pretty sure Dusan thought I wasn't going to go through with this, and in this moment I was regretting my decision very much.

He was gone in the next second. Traitor. I could feel the panic rising and I had to make it stop. Oh god. Not now. Not in front him. I couldn't let Keir see how he was affecting me but in the next second my vision completely blacked out.

I tried reaching for the wall and stumbled, knowing fully that I was going to meet the floor in about three seconds. Strong hands wrapped around my arms, lifting me and in that second everything seemed so familiar. His smell - a hint of coffee, pine wood and musk hit my nose.

He still smelt like home. Yikes. What the actual fuck?

I straightened taking a small comfort in the familiar smell and grounding myself by taking in a bigger breath. Do not think of him as home you nutcase, he hates you.

Right.

"Throwing yourself at me is not really going to work this time, Tala."

"Had it worked the first time? Because we are not exactly together, I came—"

"You shouldn't have come. I would like to deal with my wife and child's death without having to worry about why you're all of a sudden so interested in seeing Dusan or me. Go back to where you came from, Tala. There's no place for you here."

Love sucks. It shatters your beating heart in pieces leaving you to pick those pieces while drowning in memories that won't leave you alone. He was my memory. A memory that refused to go away no matter how hard I tried. In the last few days, I had given up everything to be with that memory. Only he didn't know it.

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