You and I, Do or Die - A Lams Modern HS AU

Chapter 20 - Useless

Chapter 20 - Useless

{Alexander's POV}

It's been two weeks since I've taken my shirt off around John.

Two weeks that I've been lying to him about where I've been going during the last period.

Two weeks that I've been getting used for blowjobs.

Two weeks that I've had to think up lies about why I'm so lethargic.

Two weeks since I've felt happy.

Johns come to the realization that I didn't actually fall down the stairs over and over. So each day, I have to think up a new lie about why I look so terrible. What he hasn't seen is what's under my hoodies that I never take off anymore. Several new slits in my wrists. Dozens of bruises and marks from being held down and forced to stay still while I gave blowjobs to four different guys. And right now, I've got to do it again.

You're probably wondering why I keep going back every last period, and really I can't give you an answer. All I can say is I'm scared that they'll hurt me more if I disobey their rules. Or hurt John. And I don't want that. I never want that. So, I do as they say. I swallow their bitter cum, let them cum on my face, beat me until I'm coughing up blood along with all of their semen. They never even praise me. Never make me feel good like John does. Because I'm their toy. I'm their useless toy that they play with every day before lunch.

I've hardly eaten in the past few weeks. I've lost so much blood from my wrists and I've been puking up blood. John knows nothing about it. He questions why I've been so upset and lethargic lately but I always fall asleep before I can give him a straightforward answer.

John's probably going to break up with me if I keep up this game of lies that I've chosen to play. But I have to keep going. To make everybody happy, I have to do as I'm instructed.

I'm on my way to the 400 bathroom right now. And all I can say is I'm fucking terrified. Their punches have grown stronger. Along with the grip they hold on my head to keep me still, I feel as if I'll choke if I do this one more time. They're getting more eager. And they're getting tired of my mouth, they're thinking about going anal with me. I'm not going to survive.

I walk into the bathroom to see all of the men waiting, boners clear as day in their pants. I set my bag down and fell to my knees, prepared to get another beating.

{Johns POV}

Alex hasn't been himself for the past two weeks. He's been sneaking off somewhere every last period before lunch, and then he skips lunch too! He knows I'm getting suspicious, and he's keeping something important from me. Every day, he looks worse and worse when we come home. Everyday, I offer to carry him since he's had this strange looking limp, but he just declines. He declines all of my offers of making him food, cuddling him, watching a movie. He just comes home, collapses on the bed and falls asleep for the rest of the night. I wouldn't tell him this, but he's been having small nightmares about something. Something I don't think he'd ever do.

Cheat on me.

{Flashback One Week Into Alexander's Assault, Late at Night}

John lay on his bed, staring at poor Alexander who was kicking his legs and clenching his weak, exhausted fists.

"No.. No, Thomas.. James, please.."

John contemplated waking him up, but he had to know more about what this dream was. So he didn't wake him. He just sat. He just sat and listened to Alex's begs for several other men.

"P-please, Aaron.. I'm begging you, please.."

A blood curdling scream of agony was let out of Alexander's lungs, and one swift kick of his legs sent him to fall limp and out of his dream, snoring delightfully against the mattress.

{Back to Present Time}

I know it's the worst thing to think about. Especially when you're only in High School. But I can't seem to think about any other reason Alex has been sneaking off. I haven't gotten to cuddle with him during TA, haven't gotten to hardly kiss him before he's passed out due to exhaustion. And now I have to face another day of TA alone without my Alexander by my side.

I spent the entire class drawing on the desk despite the teacher telling me not to, then the bell rang and everyone headed to lunch. Except for me. I was going to find out what was going on with Alex. I was going to find him.

{Time skip: 20 minutes into lunch, 10 minutes of lunch left}

I searched the entire school. Classrooms, janitor closets, cafeteria. Then it hit me. I still have his location shared with me. I yank my phone out and begin clicking buttons, finding Alexander's location with ease. I sprint down the hallway, contemplating what I would see. Alex would never cheat on me. But even then, that's what everyone who's getting cheated on thinks. "Oh, my husband would never cheat on me!" Next thing you know, they're part of a huge sex scandal that they've been working on behind your back. Or "I'd never cheat on my wife!" yet they're off to their secret partners house an hour later. I can't help but think maybe Alex doesn't love me at all. Maybe he's been the one using me. I'm his security guard that has simply one job. Keep him safe. I'm so confused..

I get to the 400 building bathroom, the location it says Alexander is at. Politely, I knock on the door. All I hear from the other side of the door is a thud. Along with several choked out sobs. Hesitantly, I open the door and close my eyes just in case there was anybody doing something in here. After all, this is the bathroom everybody used in those situations. Since it's the darkest and least used.

"Hello?"

A gasp for air. Another sob. Then everything fell silent. I open my eyes and what I see before my eyes makes me want to gag, puke, scream and cry all at the same time. I've never seen anything as mortifying as what I saw before me. There was so much blood, too much blood to be from a single body.

Alex lay on the floor, a massive amount of blood pooling around his wrists. His face was covered in what seemed to be semen, and his jaw hung open, drooling out the same substance along with his own blood.

And he wasn't moving. 

{Word Count: 1,130}