chapter four

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It was not an easy task to try carrying a stubborn 5-year-old onto a spaceship, which the Sith lord soon realized. But after their "negotiations", the little girl agreed to walk on her own.

Much to his dismay, Leia was a very curious child, pointing at things, making him explain what they were. But somehow he found himself unable to refuse her anything. So he went along with it, explaining things about the ship and she was soaking it all up, her eyes wide and sparkling. As he looked at her face, he knew that he was trapped. Yet he felt so liberated like sunlight had shone through the thick dark clouds that were in his life. Now, he had something to live for.

He walked towards his ship, Leia following far behind him with a pout on her face.

"Hurry up, little one."

She ran past him, hurrying into the ship.

As Vader came onto the ship, he saw that Leia had already sat down. He went into the cockpit of the ship, fastening his seatbelt and then took off. But he spared a glance behind him to look at the 5-year-old before he started the engines. She looked at the toy in her hand but didn't play with it. Then, she turned towards the window and looked out of it longingly.

He felt his heart twist at the sight but ignored it. He had more important things to focus on.

The ship flew out of the atmosphere. The planet below was mostly green with a few specks of blue scattered across. So full of life. The thin layer of atmosphere was a stunning sight as it reflected the light from the sun the planet orbited around.

But Vader didn't notice any of the planet's beauty. The only thing he thought about when he thought about Alderaan, was Bail Organa. Who had hidden his child from him for 5 years.

As he turned on autopilot, he left his seat and went back to the sitting area. He couldn't feel the cold himself but seeing that Leia was crept up on her seat with her arms around her legs, made him realize how cold it was.

"You come from a warm planet, Ani. A little too warm for my taste. Space is cold."

He ignored the memories coming up to the surface of his mind, took off his cape and walked towards her, as one would walk towards a cornered animal.

She then realized his dark presence and looked up at him with those chocolate brown eyes.

"Take this", he said and gave the cape to her. He must have looked a lot less threatening than normal, without his cape on, but at the moment, he couldn't care less.

She hesitated at first but then took the cape from him, laying it over her shoulders.

Vader couldn't help but stand there, watching her slowly fall asleep again.

His daughter.

He turned back around and was just about to walk away when he stopped by a small voice from behind him.

"What is going to happen to me now?"

He turned around so quick that Leia flinched. She was shaking out of fear by the sight of him. I want to go back to my dad, she thought but didn't dare say out loud. All the joy she had felt about exploring a new ship was gone, replaced by fear. She didn't know what would happen to her now.

"When will I see my dad again?", she asked, barely loud enough to hear.

He is not your dad, I am, Vader thought but didn't speak his mind as to not frighten the little girl.

"You will see him again. But not for a while.", he said vaguely, trying to derail her from the topic. There were more important things to discuss.

"But what will happen to me now?", Leia sputtered out, not being able to stop herself.

"You will be trained in the dark side. To become a Sith. Like me", Vader explained patiently.

"But I don't want to become like you.", Leia exclaimed with her nose scrunched up and her brow furrowed.

Vader would have almost found the girl's expression amusing if it wasn't for the fact that she was refusing him.

He would not tolerate disobedience.

Then, a voice in his head was drowning out his thoughts.

Do you really want her to become like you?

A Monster

And that's when he realized what it would do to her. To his sweet little daughter. Becoming like him was a fate he wouldn't condemn his worst enemy to - let alone his one daughter.

She was too much like Padme. His weak spot.

Now he just hoped that Palpatine wouldn't find out about this newfound weakness of his.

"If you're my daddy, then who's my mommy?", the 5-year-old asked with her high-pitched voice and looked at him with big eyes.

"Her name was Padme.", Vader answered but regretted it immediately. This would only lead to more questions. Questions that he wouldn't - no couldn't - answer.

The five-year-old tugged on her dress and he could almost see the questions forming in that tiny little head.

"Where is she? Did she look like me?", she asked.

Vader then came to the conclusion that he didn't know what had actually happened to her. After his visit to Organa, he was so focused on his daughter that the thought of what his daughter being there revealed about his late wife. He only knew what his master told him - that she had died by his hand, but her delivering his child must mean that she was alive. So Palpatine must have lied to him. And if Leia is still alive then maybe, maybe she is out there somewhere.

It was a wishful thought but it lit up a light inside him. Like a candle in the pitch-black night.

"I don't know what happened to her", he answered truthfully. "And yes, she looked very much like you. You have the same brown eyes and the same hair colour."

Leia's face lit up, her lips in a wide smile and with twinkling eyes as she looked up at him. Even if it was just wishful thinking, Leia's happiness was infectious and he could not help smile behind the mask. At this moment, the world became a little bit brighter for the sith lord.

But he would find out what happened to her. That he swore to himself. If there was any chance of her being alive...

He didn't finish the thought. Instead, he stood up and went to the cockpit. There he pushed some buttons, putting in the coordinates for his destination. Now his course was set. To Naboo. 

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