"I don't want him." My mom yelled in the phone.
who she was talking to i don't know. all i know is that she don't want me. i'm only 12 , what more can i do ? it's times i go to bed hungry , nothing on my stomach. school shoes and clothes too small. i don't fuss about it i just figure maybe my mom don't have it all. but she has to she always has her hair done or new clothes. there's this man that comes by she tells me he's my uncle but when he's here i'm not allowed in the house. plenty of times i had to bundle up on the porch. my life isn't the best but i learned to deal with it.
"Kyle get up! now " she yelled. "Get your clothes you're going away. "
she grabbed the little bit of items that i did have. which was a pair of shoes that was a size too small and 2 outfits.
"where exactly am i going? " i looked at her confused.
"you won't see me anymore. that's all you need to know " she quickly put my things in a grocery bag.
"what did i do ?" i cried. "if i did anything wrong please let me know i'll change i swear. i'll get a job"
"you're leaving " she yelled.
"ma please " i cried.
we was going back and forth for a few before i finally got the hint. i sat in the car crying silently with my face in my knees and my knees to my chest. questioning what could i have possibly done wrong for her to not want me anymore. i had the slightest idea. 20 mins later we finally pull up to to this large building it read. Chesterfield Group Home orphanage.
"ORPHANAGE" i cried.
"get out Kyle now !" i don't have time for this.
she got out of the car and threw my things on the ground. she didn't even bother walking me to the door or even saying bye. i sat there on the curb crying. thinking to myself should i leave ? or maybe this is all a joke and she'll be back. but it can't be she played her part too well. all i know is i wasn't going in there.
"another drop off" she touched my shoulder.
"huh?" i looked up.
"don't worry it happens all the time. get up off the floor. " she put her hand out.
i used some of my body weight and pushed myself off the ground as i grabbed her hand. wiping off the remainder of my tears.
"i'm sorry " i told her.
"don't be sorry it's not your fault. " i stopped her.
"you don't know that. " i stopped my cries.
"it's okay to cry you know. i'm sister theresa" she hugged me.
"kyle" i said quietly.
"kyle, well listen let's get you inside and get you some clean clothes and some shoes that actually fit okay?"
i nodded as she guided me through the gates.
i observed every angle and crack of this place. for an orphanage it didn't look that bad. i thought to myself i'll just have to make the best out of every situation. we walked in this big room filled with about 40 other kids each one had a different story. i stood and watched as everybody introduced themselves and a bit of their story. some was too young to even understand so they just gave out names and ages.
"kyle!" sister theresa called.
i looked at her.
"why don't you go over there and introduce yourself , you don't have to tell much if you're uncomfortable you know that. " she tapped my shoulder.
i might as well get accustomed to the place. i walked over to the circle with sister theresa on my side. she kind of made me feel welcomed. i waited as the last boy ace left from telling us about himself. i walked up , stood there and looked around for a second.
"i'm kyle.." i started to smile.
this was one moment in my life where i felt as if someone was listening to me.
"i'm 12 , i actually just turned 12 last week. i'm really not sure why i'm here or even how long, my favorite color is red i don't really know to be honest. " i got quiet.
"what's up kyle ." i looked and it was ace.
i gave him a head nod and went back over to sister theresa. i just felt more comfortable with her maybe because she was the first one to open me with welcomed arms. after about 30 minutes everybody had their turn. each story sadder than the other. how could parents do this to their own blood i asked myself. maybe it's just life.
"kyle right " i looked up and it was ace.
"yea that's me." i shrugged.
"i saw what happened...that was fucked up " he said looking at me.
"it's life dude. i guess " i looked down.
maybe he's right and i have to accept the fact that it was not okay. but she's my mom she's supposed to love and care for me me. but in that case she didn't.
