Nothing Is As It Seems

Chapter I

I wake up to a light in my eyes. Everything is so bright. I can't breathe. What is in my mouth? I cough as someone takes out a long tub. "Jessica" I barely hear. "Jessica can you hear me" someone snaps their fingers by my ear. I flinch away. "Good, that's really good, I'm Dr. Monroe." Doctor? I try to sit up but I'm so weak. "Lay back down you don't have a lot of energy right now but it will come back soon." "Hospital?" I question. "We will have our specialist come in to talk with you after we get your vitals." I lay back down disoriented and confused. I'm not sure how much time has passed by now. Why am I at a hospital? How long have I been here? Where is my daughter? My daughter. "Where's my daughter?"

All the doctors stop in their tracks. "Where is my daughter?" I say again. No one says anything. I feel myself starting to cry. "Is she okay? What happened to her? Where is she at?" I yell starting to get up. Dr. Monroe comes to me telling me to calm down. I push him away. "Sarah is on her way to talk to you, she is our counsler" he says.

All the other doctors take this time to leave the room leaving me with Dr. Monroe. I'm so upset I can't speak. All I can focus on is my breathing. A women walks in the room. She is short with brown hair and brown eyes. "Hello Jessica, I'm Sarah."

"Where is my daughter" "Thank you Dr. Monroe I got it from here." "My daughter!" She sits down in the chair by my bed and takes my hand in her's. "Jessica" she pauses "you have been in a coma for 15 years, you fell into this coma when you were 18 years old."

I can't feel anything. I'm numb. I look down to see Sarah is still holding my hand but I can't feel it. 15 years is all I can hear over and over again. "My daughter" I whisper through my sobs. Sarah looks down and takes a deep breath. "You don't have a daughter Jess." I quickly stand up pushing the blanket off of me and run to the other side of the room falling to the floor crying. I hear people talking but I can't make out what they are saying. I feel arms wrap around me but I'm too weak to to do anything about it. "Calm down, breathe, just breathe." I can't breathe i can't move. "We are going to give you a sedative to relax you a bit. There's a sudden sting in my arm. I look up but can't see anyone as my eyes slowly close.

I wake up in a bed with soft cuffs on my wrist and ankles. I look around the room, the second I spot Sarah I realize it was true. Tears start rolling down my face again and I close my eyes. Sarah comes close taking off the cuffs holding my head against her chest. "Shhh, it's okay. Everything will be okay." As I shake my head she softly grabs my face "Shh listen I need you to write everything you remember down." I look up confused. "It seems as though you had a whole life you thought out as you were in a coma, that rarely if ever happens. We need you to write down everything you remember from beginning to end." I nod my head still trying to comprehend everything. "It has to be now before you start forgetting."

She pulls out a thick journal and places it in my hands with a pen. She gives me a small smile and nods "I will be back in a couple hours, It doesn't matter where you start and it does not have to be in order, just write down anything you remember." As she leaves the room I look down and open the book. trying to remember anything except my daughter who was never real.

Highschool is the only thing that comes to mind. I remember my senior trip. We went to a water park. We? My friends. A girl. She was a little shorter than me, blonde with green eyes. Another girl, tall short hair blonde, no brown hair blue eyes. A guy. He was tall with short brown hair. We are walking at the water park. All we are doing is laughing. I smile as if it was a real memory.

My thoughts jump to a lake. The same 3 people are with me. We are trying to catch a small fish in a water bottle. We left and got something to eat. My mind goes blank. I lay down with my journal held tightly to my chest and drift off to sleep.

I wake up to loud bangs and lots of colors, When I open my eyes I'm still in the hospital room. Then I see them again. I open my journal and start writing. I see the short girl with blonde hair and a guy. A different guy. He is a tall blonde with beautiful blue eyes. We are sitting on a blanket in the grass. We are at a fair with fireworks. The 4th of July. I'm laying on him and she is laying on me. Stephen. His name is Stephen. I remember him. He is the father of my daughter. Just as I'm about to write more, a knock on the door interrupts me.

Sarah walks in with a tray of food. "Hey I brought you some things to snack on" she smiles. My stomach grumbles as she sets the food down. "Are my parents..." she smiles again, they are on their way, your brother as well. They are about 2 hours away. You're in a long term care facility in Minnesota. My brother. I have a brother. I remember him. "I'll let you eat and get back to writing." I thank her as she leaves.

More thoughts pop in my head. Go karts. Laser tag. My dad and someone else. My brother. James. I remember this place. We went here all the time. This reminds me of another big place. Roller coasters, a water park, I feel different about this place. It feels more real than all my other thoughts. I circle it in my journal.

I look at my food wanting to eat. I just can't get one last thought out of my head. My daughter. Her name was Annilise. I named her from a movie I watched as a kid. Everyone always said she looked just like me. I smile at the thought of her. She had a perfectly round head. Brown eyes just like me. Blonde hair like her dad. She was always laughing and smiling. Music. She loved music. She was so smart. I think she was 2, just learning to talk. I remember taking her to the beach. Playing outside. Going to see my brother. I Remember my brother having a Wife. She was pregnant. Annilise loved her. Brooke. I wonder if she is real. I put my book down, lay back and close my eyes. I feel tears run down my face as I'm smiling thinking about life with my daughter.

Sarah knocks on my door again. "Your parents are here" she smiles. I sit up. "Do they know about my situation?" I say holding up the journal. "I filled them in a little bit, they know about you thinking you had a daughter and that I gave you a journal to write in." I nod and gesture for her to bring them in.

As they walk in they look exactly how I pictured. My mom, dad, brother and there's someone else with my brother. "Brooke" I say out loud. They look confused. Sarah steps in. "You remember her name?" I nod. "How do I remember that? They look exactly how I Imagined them too." Sarah leaves swiftly and grabs Dr. Monroe. When he comes in I tell him I remember who they are and what they look like. "That's fascinating," he says looking at me in awe. "When they came to visit you I told them to talk to you about what they look like. The way they matured, things that have changed about them and in the world. It seems as though you remembered those details and incorporated them into your thoughts." He pauses and looks around. "Sarah gave you a journal right?" I nod. "You're going to have to stay here for a few weeks so we can make sure everything is okay. At the end of the week I want you to read that journal to your family and see what is true and what isn't." Dr. Monroe and Sarah leave the room and allow me some time with my family.

My mom and dad hug me and cry and my brother and his wife stay back a little bit smiling. I look around them as Brooke turns. I push them out of the way. "Were you pregnant?" She smiles and puts her hand on her belly. "We had the baby" My brother says. "I remember that. I just wrote that down" I smile. It's a weird feeling smiling after my whole life I thought I had was ripped away, but it isn't all a lie. I'm happy some things are true. Before I realize I feel tears on my cheeks and I unconsciously put my hand on my belly. Everyone notices and looks down. "I thought I had a daughter" I say smiling. "I remember her so well she was so perfect." I pause "I miss her" I say crying harder. They hold me as I sit there crying over the one thing I wish was real.

We talk a little more about their lives and things to help jog my memory. A few hours pass and visiting hours are over. We exchange I love you's as they leave. I have no energy from crying so much. I turn over and hold my book tight as I drift off to sleep.