Trapped

Trapped, Chapter 1

TW: This story presents mental health problems such as social anxiety, self-harm and depression.

Chapter 1

Every change starts slowly and unnoticed. One day you are in your little world, in which everything is beautiful and calm. You are not affected by anything negative, everything goes smoothly and your mind is empty of negative thoughts, it may be completely empty, but then, immersed in your idleness, you do not notice it. You are seemingly happy, without worries and anxieties.

The next day,however,you notice a change in your behavior. Getting out of bed seems like a feat, your daily smile is gone. And the worst? Every negative comment and criticism from the people around you,hurt more and more. And this is the beginning of the end,since then you realize in what illusion you lived the last past years.You begin to remember excerpts from the past, you begin to observe the world, the misery of every human being and then your own misery.

,,Jack, Jack Miles! ΄΄

- ,,Yes, I'm sorry, what did you say, Mrs. Smith?'' .All the eyes of my classmates were staring at me.

-,,Are you dreaming again? Please read the next paragraph of the text," said the middle-aged teacher.

Fortunately, the lesson ended relatively quickly, but before I left the classroom, I heard my name again.

"Jack, can we talk a little more privately?" ,asked Mrs. Smith.

- ,,Yes, did something happen?'', I answered in astonishment.

- ,,You will tell me. Lately I see you a bit down, we have not seen your smile for weeks. I am not used to such behaviors on your behalf. Is this related to your classmates?''

- ,, No, I'm just a little tired because of school. That's all.'',I tried to justify myself with this usual lie.

Finally a bad school day was over, but not the whole day. As soon as I entered the house, I heard my parents' voices. They argued as always about trivial matters, since the problem from the beginning was that one could not accept the habits and character of the other. A while ago I would not care about their life and coexistence, but now, seeing them treating each other with so much half, my eyes did not hold back their tears. Unnoticed I went to my room, where I inadvertently began to look at my image in the mirror. I was him. My little brown eyes and neglected hair were there, as was my short, flabby body. Everything was there, except me or my soul? It feels so scary and ugly to be constantly spinning in the empty endless universe.

I fell into bed, beginning to recall in my memory what happened that day, the last weeks and the last years. I began to understand how I got here and what awaited me next. For so long I was non-existent for myself and this fact protected me for a while from the coming of my catastrophe.Eventually I fell asleep to reality and came back to the world of nightmares.