I was half-asleep when I felt the car engine stopped. My eyelids were still close when I felt Agnes slowly whispered in my ear.
“Wake up, beautiful,”
I lazily opened my eyes and met her gaze. Behind those spectacles she's wearing, I could see how her eyes glisten as it focused on me. I smiled as a thought crosses in my mind.
“Nakikita mo ba ang sarili mong gumigising pa rin sa tabi ko 30 years from now?” I asked her out of the blue. Natatawa man ay kumunot ang kaniyang noo.
“Anong klaseng tanong 'yan?” kinuha niya mula sa backseat ang tumbler at iniabot ito sa akin.
Napanguso ako bago hinablot ang tumbler. “Sagutin mo na lang kase,” anas ko pa bago uminom.
She looked at me intently. Malalim siyang bumuntong-hininga bago sumagot.
“No,” mabilis akong napalingon sa kaniyang naging sagot.
I stared at her with disbelief. Mabilis na nangilid ang mga luha ko.
“Thirty years from now? I don't think so, Pat.” dugtong pa niya na mas lalong nagpakabog sa dibdib ko.
Pagak akong natawa at saka umiling. Hindi niya nakikita ang sarili niyang kasama ako few decades from now? Why?
Ngunit hindi ko naisatinig ang laman ng isip ko.
Naramdaman kong bumukas ang pinto ng sasakyan. Nauna na siyang lumabas dala ang mga gagamitin namin sa rehearsal.
I took a deep breath. Bitbit ang tumbler ay agad akong sumunod sa kaniya papasok sa building.
Agad kaming sinalubong ni Poch. Tinulungan niya si Agnes na bitbitin ang mga dala nito.
Ilang sandali pa ay nagsimula na kami. Pilit kong iwinaglit sa isip ko ang napag-usapan namin ni Agnes kanina. Kailangan kong ituon ang buong atensyon ko sa pagtugtog.
***
We just arrived at the concert's venue. The arena were filled with a massive number of people. They were all excited to hear and see us perform. The crowd's cheer went louder when we began appearing onstage.
The concert went smoothly. As usual, we'd perform Ride Home as our last song for tonight.
“So bago po tayo mag JUMP, JUMP, JUMP at mag Ride Home, may sasabihin muna si Agnes sa inyo,” napaangat ako ng tingin dahil sa sinabi ni Migs. Hindi naman 'to kasali sa ni-rehearse namin kahapon. May nadagdag ba?
Kunot-noo kong pinagmasdan na maglakad si Agnes patungo sa mic stand. Lumakas lalo ang hiyawan at tilian ng mga tao.
“Hi, uhm. Hindi ko talaga alam paano sisimulan 'to,” tahimik na nakinig ang mga tao sa susunod niyang sasabihin. Bigla akong kinabahan. “Maybe some of you here nahahalata na may something sa amin ni Pat. I don't know kung ilan sa inyo ang nag-iisip na may relasyon kami na higit sa pagkakaibigan,” sandali pa siyang lumingon sa aking gawi bago nagpatuloy.
“We haven't confirmed anything yet not until this night. Yes, we're in a relationship for five years.” I heard some of the audience gasped, while most of them giggled. I just stood there frozen.
“Some of you might have interpreted our actions towards each other into something else. Pat was always the one who showed the world that I meant special to her. You could see it not only through her tweets and IG posts. She does it in her very own simple ways.” the crowd became quiet, wanting her to continue what she's saying. I'm trying to held back my tears.
She glanced at me again. “You asked me earlier if I can still see myself waking up beside you every morning thirty years from now. And I told you I don't. Nakita ko kung paano kang nasaktan sa sinabi ko but you didn't even asked me why,” parang nanunumbat ngunit tumatawang dagdag niya pa. Hindi ko na napigilang umiyak.
Lumapit siya sa akin at iginiya ako papunta sa gitna. Ngayon ay nasa harap niya na ako. Muli siyang nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita.
“Pat, bakit naman thirty years from now lang? Don't you want to spend your whole lifetime with me? You know what, this lifetime isn't even close to enough. I'd still find you in our next lives.” Parang hinaplos ang puso ko sa aking mga narinig. The butterfies in my tummies have reached my heart. Hindi ko na pinigilan pa ang sarili ko't niyakap ko na siya. She hugged me tighter. Her hugs always felt like home.
“Ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin kong mahalin,” mas lalo akong napaiyak sa balikat niya nang marinig ko siyang kantahin ang kanta mismo ng banda namin. My bandmates continue playing their instruments.
“..sa susunod na habangbuhay.” her soft whispers lingered in my ears once more as I felt her lips pressed against my forehead.
And from that exact moment, I've finally found the answers to my questions.
