Wish
~~*~~
MELISSA
It was too late when I realized the true reason why I pushed Gio that day. It was because he's insecure of himself. I don't like people who do not believe in their selves. I don't like cowards. Back then I was too harsh on showing it to kids like Gio that I even turned into a bully in their eyes.
For the last decade and a half, I promised myself to be awaken the hiding confidence of others in a good way. I am happy to help them especially girls like me. Most are insecure about their physical appearances because of the judgmental society where in fact we have our own lives to live on.
No man is an island, but it doesn't mean we need to be affected about what others say about us. As long as you are not causing pain and just doing things to make you happy, go and fly free. We don't need other people's validation.
I did never got insecure of anything and by nobody because I love myself for being me. All my imperfections is something that I accept wholeheartedly, from my pimples, scars, body shape, attitude, interests, to the tip of my fingernails.
But, Gio came back in my life.
Is it reasonable to say that he was able to taken a large piece of confidence away from me?
I know my worth, it's just that there's this 'BUT'.
I like him. I am always with him. I know that I have the qualities to be liked by someone, but why can't he see me? Why Andy if there's me right in front of him?
Well, we are all worth it in our own ways. We are likeable, lovable. Maybe it really just depends on the person how see beauty in their eyes and Gio can't see those in me.
In other words, I am not his Andy.
"Mel!"
I was on my way to the parking lot when Therese, a club mate of mine approached me.
"Hi, bakit?"
"I just found these in my locker but it seems like it was miss sent," she gave me a piece of small green envelope.
"What does it have to do with me?" I asked.
"This was addressed to you. I haven't opened it. Don't worry," she pointed the back of the envelop, and she was right. My name was on it. "Anyway, I am on a rush. Congratulations!"
I am not that rude to throw this away so I decided to keep it. Saka ko na bubuksan.
Right now, I need to do something to ease my pain.
I drove fast back to our house. As expected, my parents and my brother are not yet home since it's just lunch time. Nasa trabaho pa sina Mama at Papa, si Kuya na school pa.
I am alone.
I went up to my room and looked for the object I've been imagining to hold in my hand the moment I heard those words from Gio saying it to Andy.
It didn't took long for me to find that object. The last time I did this was because of Gio, too. That was when I woke up in the hospital and was left alone for just few minutes. Now, I have enough time to do it again.
I combed my long hair and with a pair of scissors in my hand, I faced the mirror and cut it short on my own up to the top of my shoulders.
After few minutes, I successfully gave myself a new haircut. It's not that perfect but I find it manageable.
