Soundtrack Series

FOUR - Night Changes

Harry:  It was usually him flying over to see you, not the other way around. But he had been by himself for a few days and you weren’t entirely sure how he was handling it. He had been very chatty with you over the phone, but nothing coming out of his mouth was of any substance. He was struggling and you knew it. That was all the reason you needed to get on a flight. You hadn’t told him of your plans. He never told you when he was showing up, so why would you do him any favors? You liked the idea of surprising him, knowing he wasn’t handling single life well. You take the familiar taxi ride from the airport to his house. It had been a while since you had been over here, but you never forgot the scenery. “Cheers,” you say as you get out of the taxi in front of Harry’s house. You pull your bag from the back and pull it onto your shoulder as you close the trunk. The taxi drives away, and you stare through the gate. There weren’t any lights on in the windows so it was probably pointless to try and buzz in. You walk up to the security keypad to open the gate yourself. First try. Your memory surprised you sometimes. As the gate opens you slip through and walk to the door, fumbling through your bag to get the key. You had a key to his house; he had a key to yours. This was that sort of friendship. You let yourself into the dark house, the unfamiliar silence keeping you on edge. You had already assumed he wouldn’t be home when you arrived, he almost never was. And the fact that he never keeps any lights on while he was away irks you. You take your phone out of your pocket, using the light from the screen to make it up the stairs to the bedroom. It was rather late and sleep would be needed soon. However, you wanted to wait up on him. As you begin to unpack, you hear the front door open. Guess you wouldn’t be waiting up long. “Fucking light,” you hear him complain as you step into the hallway to find him using his phone to get up the steps, just as you had. You walk closer to him, still going unnoticed. His attention is fully on not missing a step. You’re at the edge of the stairs when he places one foot at the top, but slowly begins to fall backwards. “No you don’t,” you say as you grab his arms, pulling him forward. He immediately looks up from his feet to see you. His eyes were glossed over. Completely pissed. You sigh as you help stabilize him. “Nice to see you,” he greets with a smile. You nod and escort him to the bedroom. So much for a surprise. You sit him down on the bed and move back over to your bag to continue unpacking. “Have fun tonight?” You question him, as you pull your shoes out and sit them by the door beside his. “Oh, it was a great time,” he begins, lying back against the pillows. “You would have loved it.” “Doubt that.” You were never one to enjoy his party scene. “No, you would have.” He was so sure of himself though. “Everyone was there. Everyone I’ve been wanting you to meet for the past four years.” You were sure you had met most of them already. “Where did you go?” “Lily’s, she’s great.” You were certain you wouldn’t have enjoyed yourself now. “You two would get along so well.” “No we wouldn’t,” you answer quickly, as you hang your shirts up in his closet. “You don’t know that.” “Yes, I do.” Petty arguing, his number one objective while drunk. “How? You’ve never even met her.” “Yes I have, Harry.” You were trying your best to be patient with him. You wanted to tell him to shut up and go to bed, but you knew he wouldn’t have it. “When was the last time you were home?” You question as you walk into the en-suite to find the clothes he had worn home from seeing you still in the floor. “Uhhhh.” That’s all the answer you need, really. He has been out partying every night since he had broken up with her, you are sure of it. “Where are you going?” He asks as you walk back through the bedroom and into the hallway. “Don’t you worry.” You walk to the kitchen, knowing the layout of this house as if it were your own. You return to his side with a glass of water and aspirin. This isn’t him. You know he’s only acting like this to fill the void of the relationship he just ended, but surely there is a better way than this.

Liam: You weren’t sure if you were glad to be back in the UK, or if Australia had been such a bust it didn’t matter where you had flown to. Nothing about Australia had worked. Maybe you hadn’t planned it out well enough. But regardless, you were back to square one. Maybe this Mark guy was legitimate. Maybe that is the reason why she has been so stuck on him. So stuck that you aren’t sure where you stand with her anymore. Yes, she had somewhat apologized to you back in Oz, but an apology isn’t really what you want. You want things to go back to the way they were before she let herself get distracted. You’ve been back in the UK for nearly a week and she’s barely said two sentences to you; that’s a distraction she didn’t need to have. Surely there is still something you can do. They aren’t together. Nothing has been made official. You still have time. But time for what? What are you actually trying to accomplish here? You want things between you and her to go back to the way they were. What does that even mean? You want to go back to before the band, yes? No? Go back to where you got to spend time with her? But that was before the band. You left her for your career. But you didn’t think it would turn into all of this. How could you? But she was so accepting of you and the life you have made for yourself, she always has been. So if you don’t want to go back to before the band, where do you want to go? Back to before you had to worry about someone taking her away? Yes, that’s it. You were just being selfish, wanting her all to yourself. That isn’t possible though, and you have been told that several times. The rest of the guys tell you all of the time that if you aren’t going to date her, you can’t keep a hold of her when someone else wants to. That isn’t your place. You hate when they say that. Of course you can keep a hold of her. She is your friend; she has been for as long as you can remember. Why wouldn’t she choose you over another guy? She always had. She had spoiled you there. But you had done the same with her and your girlfriends. She hadn’t had a boyfriend in the last four years, something you were silently thankful for. You wouldn’t know how to act. Well, you would act like this, apparently. Selfish and bitter. Someone else is trying to keep her from you. That’s what your head is telling you. But you aren’t around enough to matter, are you? Your thoughts are driving you mad right now. That’s what you get for sitting in the house by yourself. You made the decision to stay in London, while she traveled back up to Wolverhampton with her sister. Probably not a smart move on your part. You should have told her to stay here. Maybe staying with you in London would keep her mind off of Mark. But if taking her to Australia didn’t do that, what was going to? Why was this so complicated? Were you making this more difficult than it needed to be? Yes, of course you were. You aren’t happy with how things between the two of you have shifted and that needs to be fixed, at least that’s what your mind is telling you. You run your hands through your hair. You need to clear out your thoughts, this isn’t healthy. You sigh deeply, getting off of the couch, having not even realized you had been sitting in front of a black television screen for the last two hours. What are you doing to yourself? You pick your phone up from the kitchen counter, unlocking it and opening your contacts. You stare at her name. You haven’t properly talked to her in days. Something that only happens when you’re out on tour, never when you’re home. You have to talk to her. But what are you going to say? Are you going to tell her how you feel? That she can’t be with Mark, but that she can’t be with you either? What are you going to say? You continue to stare at her name, your thumb hovering over the screen as your mind again begins to wander. You could tell her that you are a bitter jerk that doesn’t want to see anyone else make her happy but yourself. Yeah, that will surely go over well. It’s the truth though, and you’ve always been about truth with her, haven’t you? Not lately. That was another thing that had changed between the two of you. You had never kept things between one another up until Mark came along. Fucking Mark. Why don’t you talk about Mark more? How you hate the way he makes her laugh and smile just the way you do, except all he has to do is text her? Or how you will never give him a chance, no matter how much she wants you to? All great options for conversation. You slam the phone back down on the counter and walk away. You weren’t telling her any of that.