cele was a poor widdle child born to a pwor widdle famiwy.
they were terrible people, splurging on the worst of things, like a really expensive steak worth a years salary, barely enough to share.
one day, their milk cow went dry and her father insisted she sell it. she was quite attached to it, so she was hesitant. in the end her hunger fueled her to give it up.
when she went to the market, she saw a man high on coke selling "magic" celery stalks. normally, she wouldnt be very trusting of a drugged up man, but she really like celery. mmm, tasty.
she went over, and saw she could buy a few for the low low price of one whole cow. what a deal amiright. so she gave up the cow for a few celery sticks and went on her way home.
she planted the stalks, and went inside her house empty handed. her parents were justifiably pissed, and sent her to bed without food.
the next day...
the stalks grew and grew to large heights impossible for a normal celery stalk, but this isnt logic, this is magic.
the man was telling the truth after all huh, cele thought.
she decided to climb the stalk, (like an idiot) and somehow didnt fall down. what skill!
when she got to the top, she saw a large cottage bigger than a kingdom, not that she saw one before.
she walked up to the cottage, crawled under the door, and snuck inside. wowie it was big! she also saw a large woman, a giant.
she was cooking what looks like chicken and celery soup. cele wasnt dumb enough to let herself be seen so she climbed up on a kitchen counter and hid behind an enormous salt shaker. the dawny lady reached for some salt to flavor the soup, almost seeing cele before she ran to the pepper shaker.
almost immediately she knew it was a dumb move. she had to hold back from sneezing her brains out. she moved to another container, containing what looks to be sugar.
from here she studied the woman a bit more. she looked dawny, had deer antlers, and was quite sad looking. the giant walked over to the sugar looking jar, and cele panicked. she had nowhere else to hide, and she was approaching her. let her come as close as she liked then. the giant, who cele is gonna call Dawn, picked up the sugar and saw her. Dawn's face was surprised, then quickly turned to horror.
"AAAAAAH! YOUVE GOTTA HIDE BEFORE NAYI COMES HOME!" the giant screamed
cele was wondering who nayi was before getting picked up and punted onto the top of a cupboard. ouch.
the door to the cottage slammed open and a large woman walked in and started mumbling something to Dawn in an incomprehensible language. Dawn responded back in that weird tongue and gave the new person some soup. this must be nayi, cele realized.
"fee fi fo fum, i smell the blood of dumbass bitch."
well thats not very nice
"nono dear it must be the chicken!" Dawn panickly said.
"hmm, maybe..." nayi said with a hint of suspicion.
the giant drank her soup and took out a hen. it looked high, if hens could look high. it laid a small bag of that sugar looking stuff from earlier. the giant opened the bad and stuffed her nose in there. the giant instantly looked older, more tired, like a crackhead.
oh its coke
the giant then took out a small ass harp and told it to play. it made the ugliest sound cele has ever heard, and she has heard a lot in her life. the giant somehow fell asleep, and snored like a pig.
dawn walked over to cele and told her to run. cele, being a rebellious child, said no and told dawn to go away. dawn, being the doormat she is, obliged and went upstairs to sleep too.
since she was alone now, she jumped off the top of the cupboard into a cup of water, cushioning her fall. then she took a small cloth and made a makeshift glider and glided to the table.
her klepto ass just couldnt resist taking the crack hen. the weird harp can stay though. she was about to walk out the door when the harp started screaming for some reason.
the giant woke up, and cele ran as fast as her tiny legs can take her. she sprinted to the celery stalk, climbed down, and tossed the hen in her room and took out her chainsaw. she saw the giant struggle with climbing down and she ripped through the stalk with as much force as possible. it broke and the "evil" giant tumbled down a cliff. why they built a house next to a cliff is beyond me.
she and her family rejoiced, making thousands of money selling crack to everybody. the celery stalk seller got some coke for free, and cele and him got a friendship that was mostly even more illegal drug deals.
the end
also everyone died a week later from drug overdose.
cast
cele: celestricity
dawn:DawnsCake
nayi: VaquitaNayi
