𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳

32

-Serenas pov-

I felt guilty the morning after, I shouldn't have yelled at Charlie like that. its not him, its just me getting in my head and I just couldn't take it anymore. But it was true when I said I wanted space. 

like I said I love him and all but I need alone time. I want to respond to Bennys text, and no one is here to stop me.

Me: ya it actually did hurt me, but  good for you and isa, also sorry about Charlie, he didn't listen to me when I told him to stop talking to you.

It pained me a lot inside to know that benny kissed someone that wasn't me, its like being punched in the gut every second I think of it. I just have this picture in my head of benny kissing her.

Isa is so much prettier than me too. I always hated my body but no wonder benny likes her, she has perfect curves, nice hair and a pretty smile and of course plays baseball.

I stood up from my bed and looked at myself in my full body mirror. I did not see what I wanted to see. I put my hands over my eyes and cried. 'maybe if I looked like her he wouldn't have broken up with me' I thought to myself as I tried holding in my tears.

my phone dinged, I wiped my eyes with the bottom of my shirt and sat back down on my bed. benny texted back.

Benny: I mean it Serena, im sorry,  but can you tell Charlie to stope being such a fucking ignorant person and to watch who he's talking to first

Me: don't talk about Charlie like that benny 

Benny: your right, I shouldn't have used those words, but he says that hurt you on purpose

Me; benny me and Charlie aren't talking to each other right now, we got into an augment yesterday

benny: what happened?

me: nothing its fine I gtg

I stopped texting benny, it feels like everyday benny looses himself even more, It made me mad how he talked about Charlie. he's been here for me this whole time more than benny has. My room door was being knocked on.

I quickly rubbed my eyes to act like I didn't just get hurt for the millionth time. "Come in" I replied to the knock, the door opened and it was Catalina. "Hey beautiful" she said closing the door behind her. "Hey Catalina" I put on a fake smile.

"Whats up?" I asked her as she sat down next to me on my bed. "I can see through you beautiful, your hurting aren't you?" she leaned her head to the side. I looked away from her not saying a word. "Serena hunny, you can tell me, I want to be here for you" she put her hand on my leg.

I turned back to face her and let out the tears, "I miss benny so much, I can't be happy without him, I hate myself and the way I look, his new girlfriend Isabel  or whatever she is so beautiful and I just wanna look like her because maybe benny would come back to me, and she plays baseball, I can't even compete with her" I cried out on Catalinas shoulder

"Let me see this isa girl" she said with comforting eyes. I grabbed my phone from my side and pulled up her Instagram, a picture from her birthday party where she was wearing that's dress that showed every perfect thing about her off. Catalina takes a good look at the picture and shakes her head.

"Serena, maybe one day you and benny will see each other and you'll feel that love again, maybe that love is still there, but since he's so far away and you can't touch or be with him it distracts you from why you were both together in the first place" She said looking up at me

"He has already moved on, he kissed her already Catalina, no way he still loves me like I love him" I put my head down on her lap. one tears crossed my face hitting the bed sheets.