MDZS, But if Lan Qiren Were Chill

Prologue: Lan Qiren Essentially Becomes a Father

When his second nephew was born, Lan Qiren decided he would have to be a parental figure to both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji in place of their father, his beloved older brother who had secluded himself away from the world because of some foolish love.

"It has been months now, Xiongzhang. Do you not want to see your son?" the younger Lan asked through the sliding door of his brother's room, his infant nephew asleep in his arms.

He waited a full five minutes, but his brother did not grace him with an answer; so, with a heavy heart, Lan Qiren returned to his own quarters, asking for one of the female cultivators to retrieve milk from his sister-in-law, also sequestered away in her own secluded quarters. She gave him a smooth bow, but he could see the tension in her shoulders, the pity in her profile as she turned away.

He too felt immense sadness for Madame Lan trapped in her room, unable to see her children, unable to escape his own foolish brother. Lan Qiren settled in his bed, cradling Lan Wangji to his chest, allowing a soft sigh to escape his lips, a crack in his otherwise stoic facade.

"Uncle?"

His older nephew stirred in the bed beside his own, blinking awake, those big gold eyes gazing up at him, and Lan Qiren felt that now-familiar rush of affection at seeing his nephew.

"Did I wake you, Xichen?" he inquired softly, reaching a hand out to place on the toddler's head, smoothing his bedhead.

"No," Lan Xichen said, shaking his head, looking a tad frightened, so Lan Qiren easily lifted the boy up into his bed beside him. "...Uncle?" he asked in a small voice, huddled beside the acting clan leader's arm.

"Yes, Xichen?"

"Does Father hate Wangji and I?" his nephew asked quietly, and it broke Lan Qiren's heart to hear a two-year old ask such a question.

"Of course not, Xichen," Lan Qiren bent down and pressed a soft kiss to the boy's forehead, a rare display of affection, but a necessary one. "Your father is in a... difficult situation."

"And Mother?"

Lan Qiren paused. He could not attempt to begin to understand the headspace of their mother. Did he like the woman who led his younger brother astray, to a life of seclusion and loneliness? Of course not. But did he blame her for any of it? Definitely not. He had taken his nephews to see her once a month ever since they were born, and she never turned them away. Unlike his brother, he always noted with frustration.

"Your mother loves you both, Xichen," he affirmed, pulling the covers up over his nephew. "Sleep, Xichen."

"Yes, Uncle," his nephew answered obediently, like always, which both delighted and upset him; but, not before he leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Lan Wangji's hand.

Lan Qiren heard his nephew falling asleep, his breaths becoming deep and even, and the female cultivator knocked gently at his door as she returned. He sent a soft burst of qi to slide open his door, ignoring the rules of courtesy as he waved for her to step into his private quarters so late at night.

He had begun breaking the rules on the Discipline Wall when his brother had gone into seclusion, and he didn't see himself stopping the trend anytime soon. He could only follow said rules so much when he was acting as a father to his nephews and a leader to the sect. He made sure to punish himself every time, naturally, but he wondered if there would ever be a time when he would return to some form of normalcy.

The cultivator excused herself, and Lan Qiren placed the bottle she had given him on his bedside table, placing a heating talisman on it for whenever Lan Wangji would inevitably wake up and need to be fed.

Lan Qiren settled himself into his bed, placing his infant nephew in between himself and Lan Xichen, carefully placing his head on a small pillow he had bought for the sole purpose of caring for the baby, and the young man allowed himself to close his eyes, the exhaustion of the day finally taking its toll.

The rules of Gusu demanded its disciples to sleep at nine, but these last few months, he had not been able to do so. Even asking other cultivators to help him care for his young nephews as late as ten at night. Granted, he exempted them from punishment, and they seemed happy to help him, but he knew he could not keep acting that way.

In an hour's time, the nearly-silent cries of his baby nephew would rouse him from his light sleep, and he would awake to feed Lan Wangji before trying to achieve more sleep before the time to awake inevitably came around. But until then, Lan Qiren slept as soundly as he could, with the burdens of his responsibilities weighing on his mind.